Sunday, November 30, 2008

Quote for the last day of November.

"God not only knows where He is taking you, He also knows how to get you there."

- Roy Lessin

Daily Prayer

Dear God,

To the woman reading this;
you are beautiful, classy and
strong, and I love you.
May you live your life to the fullest,
And may you excel above your own expectations and
Shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love.
Pray God's Protection on you and your family at all times, lift up your voice, heart and spirit in prayer when you need it the most,
and remember that when you walk with God,your creator,
You will always be safe.

For me and for you:)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Epicure Party at my house!!

Come a little hungry and leave happy!

Easy, healthful and delicious mealtime solutions for the home chef and the food appreciater.(That's me!).

Epicure Selections® is a 100% Canadian-owned direct sales company offering a unique line of versatile herb and spice blends, time-saving recipes and professional-quality cookware.
Inspired by the pursuit of making delicious, healthy meals easy for the home chef, Epicure Selections® was founded in 1996 in Victoria, BC, by Sylvie Rochette.

Epicure products are shared by a national network of Independent Epicure Consultants, primarily through home Tasting Parties.

That's what this is, a home tasting party and a good reason for me to have a social gathering. I haven't had a social gathering in a long time and now it's time.

Come hang out, enjoy some good eats, great smells, fun laughs and connecting with friends old and new.

Plus you can spoil yourself and your famliy dinners with some of your purchases or even use it to do some early handy Christmas shopping. That's what I did last year and it worked out great!! I love the Epicure stuff we have and we have a little of everything.Chris cooks with most of it and loves it!
I'm providing the home, kitchen, friendly home environment and the red wine, so please come and hang out with me for a nibble and sip:)

Where: Our house
When: 7:15-9pm
Wednesday Nov 26th.

See you soon!

If you can make it contact me!

Opposites attract.

For those of you that may be wondering, Carmelle has come up with another catchy phrase which expresses the opposite of , "Sunk my Cows:(", which is, "Fluff my Bunnies!" We are using them in conversation over here and it adds a much light and fun mood to the whole day:)

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I think my “Cows-are-buoyant?!?”

I do believe that my five year old may have stumbled on to the newest catch-phrase!
I did something to disappoint her, one of many times in her life time to be sure, and she said with a disgruntled tone,

“Mommy, you sunk my cows!”

“I did what?” I exclaimed?!?

“You sunk my cows!!” She pointed out as an explicative.

“OH?!, Where did you hear that?!?”

“I didn’t, I just made it up.” She shrugged off.

“Hmmm...that’s actually a really good one Carmelle, very catchy. I think that might just catch on and you may very well become a trend setter!”

“Thank-you, Mommy. What’s a trend setter?”

“Someone who makes a mark with an impression with a lasting expression. I do believe that your statement, you-sunk-my-cows, could be the next big thing my dear.”

As I laughed with hilarity in my voice I realized the depth of her expression. Kayla, our present boarder, responded just as I thought she would and texted, “sunk-my-cows” to her friend. To which she responded with, lol. (You’ll only know what “lol” means if you are “hip”.I thought I’d add to the contributing factors of this phrase catching on, by posting it here on my blog.(Exploiting my daughters wittiness)

I recall my mother-in-laws, catch phrase," you peed on my rainbow", which only caught on in the Janz family but expresses the same feeling. So perhaps, like Grandmother, like Grand-daughter.

It also made me reflect on my own “cows” and I suppose cancer sunk-my-cows, though they are now rather buoyant.

It also made me think back to the statement, that my mother said to me at least once in my earlier years, “He won’t buy the cow if you are giving away the milk for free.” And for the record I did follow this advice and it does work.

It also made me feel some sympathetic feelings for the women of latter years who quite literally, have the sinking of their cows. I can’t empathize with these women, as mine will never sink, one of a few perks of breast cancer and double mastectomies that I can hold on to.

I can also think of many circumstances in which “sunk-my-cows” could come in handy, especially when seeking a tame replacement for other four letter words that are not so errrr....acceptable.

So for fun, I encourage you to use “sunk-my-cows” in context; We are using it over here and having a “hoot” (a not so trendy word).

Hoping your cows are not sinking or sunk... but know it’s there when you need it!

I’m grateful for a light-hearted expression provided by my five year old, which I will probably use everyday, which will put and smile on my face and will flip off my tongue nicely and land where I need it.

Try it, it’s a new fad, fabulous and fun!

I already used it tonight when I entered the bathroom during bath time and soaked my socks, and muttered under my breath, ”Sunk-my-Cows!”; due to the over flowing bath time adventures of Cadence and Carmelle.

I encourage you to Adventure on, even when you feel your "Cows have sunk"!

For this Day.

"Lord, send me anywhere,
Only go with me.
Lay any burden upon me,
Only sustain me."

-David Livingstone

Friday, November 21, 2008

For Today.

"The world is full of suffering, it is also full of over coming it."

- Helen Keller

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Could not have been better timing!

A Quote from Mother Teresa,

"It's not how much you do that counts, but how much love is in what you do."

Chemo brain.

Obviously I have not completely recovered from chemo brain, they say it lasts 2 years+, I've got a good year yet:)

The party is WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 26th.

Hope to see some of you here!

Friday, November 14, 2008

Come to my Epicure Party!

Come a little hungry and leave happy!

Easy, healthful and delicious mealtime solutions for the home chef and the food appreciater.(That's me!).

Epicure Selections® is a 100% Canadian-owned direct sales company offering a unique line of versatile herb and spice blends, time-saving recipes and professional-quality cookware.
Inspired by the pursuit of making delicious, healthy meals easy for the home chef, Epicure Selections® was founded in 1996 in Victoria, BC, by Sylvie Rochette.

Epicure products are shared by a national network of Independent Epicure Consultants, primarily through home Tasting Parties.

That's what this is, a home tasting party and a good reason for me to have a social gathering. I haven't had a social gathering in a long time and now it's time.

Come hang out, enjoy some good eats, great smells, fun laughs and connecting with friends old and new.

Plus you can spoil yourself and your famliy dinners with some of your purchases or even use it to do some early handy Christmas shopping. That's what I did last year and it worked out great!! I love the Epicure stuff we have and we have a little of everything.Chris cooks with most of it and loves it!
I'm providing the home, kitchen, friendly home environment and the red wine, so please come and hang out with me for a nibble and sip:)

Where: Our house
When: 6:15-9pm
Wednesday October 26th.

See you soon!

If you can make it contact me!

Quote for today.

"You may not think you can reach it.

Climb anyway.

You may not think you'll be heard.

Speak anyway.

You may not think you can change things

Try anyway."

-Maya Angelou-

Wednesday, November 12, 2008


The "Current prayer requests" will be undated very shortly, probably already are:) you can find them to the left.
Some people have told me that they've had trouble leaving comments on the blog for me, so some things have been changed so it should be easier now:)
I love reading your positive and encouraging feedback and comments, thank-you!

Hope you had a restful and reflective Remembrance day yesterday.

We watched Madagascar 2 and laughed very much!!

Have a great week everyone!

Feather and family

Monday, November 10, 2008

Work Week.

I just completed working 3 of the last 7 nights and I feel great! I know that many of you have wondered how I'm doing being back at work and I have to tell you, it feels so good! I'm working 2 nights a week and I've averaged about 4 and a half hour shifts. I've handled them much better than I expected I would. I've made a few mistakes:) but over all I've remembered most of what I needed to remember and retained what I needed to learn. A year a half ago when I worked my last shift, I'd been waitressing for 18 months and it had been two years before that since I'd worked as a hostess, which is what I'm doing now. So 3 years later, I've surprised myself, my chemo brain isn't as bad as I thought!

It feels so good to be so warmingly welcomed back into such a great group of staff, so many familiar faces (a few new ones too) I love the social dynamic of the restaurant, it's so busy and keeps you on your toes. It's a great physical work out and I feel stronger and stronger every time I work (in every way)! I was worried that my weakened body would rebel, but so far so good, I am encouraged! I'm hoping that I will be able to waitress sooner than I think, which would also bring in more income:)

There are so any large steps I'm making in every area of my life and I thank God for giving me the courage to face them.

Courage for another day.


Monday Nov. 10th Quote

God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no more music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who Journey with us on the road of life, to your honor and glory.


Saturday, November 8, 2008

The delight of true friendship.

As I’m reading this book, “Practicing the Presence of People”, the chapters on Friendship hit me deeply. And I’m able to embrace the sadness of losing my best friend, Carmen, for the first time. I did mourn her passing, six and a half years ago (May 2002) and though I wept, I never really allowed myself to feel the sadness and accept the loss.

I was afraid of feeling sorry for myself, that poor-me wasn’t going to have a best friend anymore; when I should have been feeling grateful for having her as such a close companion and connected consort for 17 years. So I got busy honing in on my gratefulness and forgot to allow myself to feel sad. What I realize now, is that Carmen had it all figured out a long time ago, I just wasn’t able to see it until now. She knew what it was to feel sad, she felt it, deeply...that’s why she was able to experience so much joy in daily living! She’d discovered the secret to “true” joy was “true” sadness; that’s why she was happy all the time!

A very close mutual friend of ours from high school, has reminded me a couple of times along my journey that years ago, while we were still big-haired teens at Sardis High, she asked Carmen the hard question “How can you be happy all the time?” and Carmen replied, in not her usual bubbly self, “What am I suppose to do, walk around crying all the time?!?” Though stunned by her blunt, honest, real, sad and hard reply, she knew it was the truth and deeply respected her for it. Many may have thought that Carmen walked around in blissful denial, but I assure you; she did not.

Carmen knew that walking around crying wasn’t going to change her circumstances or make it easier on anyone around her, but she embraced her sadness and choose to be joy-filled. She made an active effort, every morning, (as she sprayed her hair and put on her high-tops) to see that day as a gift from God.

I still see my friendship with Carmen being one of my life’s greatest gifts and mysteries, I miss her deeply on a regular basis, and I’m sad she’s not here though I continue to receive goodness from her giving spirit. I sense her presence, which I can’t explain and on a regular basis I delight in the fact that our oldest daughter (Carmen-Elizabeth) bares a cheek dimple that only reminds me of her all the more.

I’ve found the highs of my life since then, the birth of the girls, our amazing house, my cancer-free diagnosis would have been sweeter, if she’d been here to share them with; and the lows of fighting illness and the sickness of cancer treatment would have felt easier if she’d been here to soften the blows. Each high and low brings a new mourning.

But that’s it, isn’t it!!! Because I had Carmen in my life in the first place, I know forever more that each “New Morning” will bring a softer and easier new day. When life is just plain “hard”, reflecting on Carmen’s life, then and now, just makes it easier. So “now and then”, I make a point of remembering all the good times we had together.

Thank God I decided to receive Carmen as a friend when we were 13 and in the 8th grade. She sent me a note in 8th grade socials studies class that said, Can I be your friend? Mark an “X” next to Yes or No. Am I ever glad I marked the YES box!! I knew then that having Carmen as a closest friend wasn’t going to be “safe”, but it was going to be easy. I knew then that my life would be forever changed for the better, if only to have her there, close by, for a short while. I also knew then that my life would experience a devastating blow with the loss of her. No matter what, I decided that I wouldn’t have any regrets; because anytime with her was going to be positively life altering and worth it. I’m glad I was able to understand the blessing that Carmen was, even at the age of 13.

Carmen had found out just a few months before, that she had an inoperable brain malformation that would cause her premature death. They told her that she was a “ticking time bomb that could go off at anytime.” She received all of the medical intervention that she could and she carried on with her life. She didn’t just carry on; she carried everyone around her along with her. She was on a joy-ride and was going to take us all with her, whether we liked it or not! And yes, she did have a stubborn side; she was always determined to get the most out of life even if it meant gritting her teeth and digging in her heels some times! (never high-heels though

Carmen was the kind of person that you couldn’t be around with out grinning and seeing the world around you in a greater light. She beamed the glory of her Saviour, Jesus Christ in each and every step even in her “Laura-Ashley” dress and acid-wash jean jacket
She looked every one in the eye and encouraged them, even without saying a word. And when she did speak, the words always seemed to bubble out of her. Carmen loved life and everyone knew it.

The way I figure she saw it, was that she lived every moment like it could be her last, which was her reality, and she wanted to leave everyone with a lasting impression. She impressed on our souls to delight in all the good to be seen and choose to see it, feel and accept it.

When it came to facing my life, I knew I was blessed, no matter what. This example Carmen set became especially poinient when I faced a diagnosis of breast cancer at 23 years old. I clung to her as a source of inspiration and as a life line to help me from sinking. I looked to the example she’d set in my life for the previous 10 years and that she continued to live, as a new bride, faithful friend and committed follower of Christ.

I realize that my “sisterhood” friendship I had with Carmen was uniquely special and that I’m lucky to have experienced that kind of relationship in my life time but what really brings me peace is believing that she’s “around” and that one day we’ll have the ultimate reunion as soul-sisters.

What you taught me Carmen, is the giving and receiving of true love and friendship, void of judgment, distaste, regret and despair. Instead you taught me how face life and death with acceptance, flair, integrity and joy. Carmen never gave up on her hope for the future, her faith in her Creator and love for all she knew. I have clung to these life lessons of hers, the great teacher that she was, and have studied, applied and implemented them into my life to the best of my ability; and when I have floundered I turned to prayer, just as she would have done.

Especially now I have been able to reflect on the life altering emotions that Carmen’s life and death propelled within me; as I start to live once again; healthy, whole and a little stronger than before. I’ve also had the opportunity to become a part of the lives of two of the young women that were with Carmen on her final night of conscious effort. They were so young, still in their teens and God has molded their lives as young women to reflect His love and the love of His servant Carmen in their eyes. As they have “looked” to me in recent months, I can’t help but see her infallible spirit, continuing on, urging others to quite simply smile.

Carmen in your life you gave us a picture of how we should live by opening the window to your soul and in your passing you dissipated our fear of death because we know you’ll be there to open the door, when it’s our turn to knock.

Psalm 19 7-11 (as paraphrased by Mike Mason)

Friendship is perfect,
reviving the soul,

Friends are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.

Friendship is right, giving joy to the heart,
and radiant, giving light to the eyes.

Friendship is so pure that it endures forever,
so sure that it is altogether righteous.

Friends are more precious than gold,
and sweeter than honey.

By our friends are we warned,
and in keeping them there is great reward.

I thank God for Carmen that He put her in my life so I would know the true gift of friendship and never stop seeking it. She taught me how to be myself, trust myself and enjoy myself because she lived “doing unto others”…to all others, including me. She embodied pure joy in the midst of life’s uncertainty and has even now has demonstrated to me that embracing my sadness can feel like the biggest and best “Carmen” hug.

Let’s go and get some hugs!
I have so many wonderful friends to hug I'm not even sure where to start...I know, I'll start with the girls!! "Carmelle! Cadence!"

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Love. Is it all we need?

a) The Beatles said, "All you need is Love."

b)The Bible says, "Faith, hope and Love...but the greatest of these is Love."

c)Mike Mason says. "Love is not a thought of a feeling but a decision, an act of the will."

d)There's a saying, "The heart is like a parachute:it works when it is open."

e)Will Roger's said, "A man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be."

Feather is pondering...All of the above!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

This one made me think, again!

A Quote from good,old Albert Eienstien with a Mike Mason addition:

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them." - Albert -

"This is how problems are solved: through a redifining experience.
To be whole and healthy we must have a redifining relational experience not just once in our lives, but every day." -Mike-

When your 5 year old leaves you speechless?!?!

Our five year old daughter, Carmelle, has left me speechless many times in the last week, as she’s begun to ask the tough questions, that many parents dread. Just when I was starting to think I might actually have discovered some of the answers to my own life questions;
she throws this at me, “So if God created me, how did I end up in your tummy, Mommy?!?!”
Ahhhhh….you are right God did create you and you were in Mommy’s tummy ahhh….God used Mommy and Daddy together in a very special way to make you just the way you are, a little bit of Mommy, a little bit of Daddy and a whole lot of Carmelle!!

“Oh, okay.” She said. Phew, I got off easy that time:)

Then she asked in the same car ride, when I hadn’t yet recovered form the first question, “Mommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?” I thought this one was easier; “But I am grown up Carmelle.” Easy done, I thought.

“No Mommy!!!” She proclaimed emphatically!
“What do you want to be when you grow up!!!???!?!”

Wow, I didn’t know what to say to her. I was slightly overwhelmed, as I realized I do in fact have a whole life time ahead of me, in which to set life goals and dreams, some long term and some short term. As I pondered these things, Carmelle grew more impatient. She wanted defined answers to her questions, and “I don’t know?!” Wasn’t going to cut it!

So my 5 year old caused me to dig deep within myself and realize what I want to be when I “grow-up”. This is what I came up with; I would like to be a published Author, I would like to be a Leader in my community, I would like to be heard as a Public Speaker, I want to continue my education as a Student; I want to become Grandparent’s one day with Daddy, to her children and I want to be a Runner again. She seemed satisfied with my answers and so was I. Just as I was starting to feel confident in parenting and abilities to answer my daughter’s questions, she came at me again, because we were driving down the road, there was no escape!

“Mommy, Santa Claus is real, right?!?!”

Oh, crap! With her sister in the car, I wanted to be careful, perhaps use words Cadence wouldn’t understand…the strategies of how to answer such a complex question eluded me.
I said something like, “Santa is real because we pretend he is real.”
Then I held my breath…”No, Mommy, he’s real because I saw him at the Mall, he’s not pretend!!”

Then I resorted to a good old-fashioned response, the trusty old stand-by, “Ask your father when we get home. Mommy is trying to concentrate on driving!”

Later that night, around dinner time, Carmelle decided to ask Chris a question, I gave him a bit of a heads-up on the Santa thing, (but that wouldn’t have helped him at all) She came up with another question that both of us were stumbling over, in amazement that she even thought of such a question. We then prolonged our inability to answer her, by praising her for such good question asking?!?

She’d said, “Daddy, is that a Masterpiece?” referring to the painting on the wall.


“How do you know it’s not a Masterpiece?” she asked.

“I suppose we don’t really Carmelle?!?”

“Then what is a Masterpiece?”

Chris and I looked at each other, he was already in motion so he kind of skipped out of the room, and I was left with the deep pondering of what defines a masterpiece.

Is it the world opinion that decides?; the partaker of that particular piece of art, the art world or the artist? What may be seen as a masterpiece by one, may not be seen by another. Perhaps that painting was that artists best life’s work, but did they know it at the time; probably not. Does one know when they are creating a masterpiece? Maybe.

But I’d think that it is not realized until one reflects on their life’s work, and sees then what stands out among the rest. Which project touched their heart and moved it like none other, and had the same effect on others.

So I replied, “A masterpiece Carmelle, is an extra special piece of work that stands out among the rest when someone reflects back on their life’s work.” Chris nodded in approval to my answer.

That seemed to work for her. Thank God, we can appear “intelligent” to our children for awhile longer!

And we were proud of our daughter for being able to ask such amazing questions at such a tender age. God knows we love such shining brilliance from our little girl who arrived to us 5 and a half years ago, in her birth moment, not responsive and needing full resuscitation, due to the fact she had no heart beat, no oxygen (for a scary amount of time) and myconium in her lungs and stomach. She is a little miracle who just keeps growing and growing!

Reflect on your life’s little miracle’s today!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Quote for tomorrow.

"Yesterday's miracle may not help at all in facing today's obstacle."

- Mike Mason, again:)

Shout out!

I just wanted to give an encouraging shout out to my Grandma (Peggy Butchart) who turned 87 two days ago, and when I talked to her she told me proudly that she has out lived both Doctor's who told her that she'd never live past 70!:) Apparently sass and getting new Doctor's can take you a long way!

Also to my Brother Daniel and His wife Racheal, who just celebrated their 1st wedding anniversary yesterday; I'd like to tell them it gets easier...but...I prefer not lying:) How about, it just gets "richer"...and I put that in quotes, because finanically you may have a little rough road ahead:0 It took Chris and I about 5 years to finally get ahead financially. You've got all the right stuff, I have no doubt!

To my good friend Evelyn, who lives in Manitoba, I may have forgotten to send you a card and forgot to call, but I have thought of you lots. And I love you my dear friend (I think you read my blog?!? I hope so anyway:) Happy Birthday, last Thursday!

To Uncle Wayne, probably my most faithful blog reader, right from the start. I know it's your birthday this month, I just don't remember what day exactly. Thanks for your continued support and positive encouragement.

And I certianly must not miss my Aunt Wendy, who was born on the same day as my Uncle wayne....yes they are twins:)Your on going love and support through the last year and a half has been wonderful, you bless my heart everytime we are in touch.

Quote for today.

"Yesterday's discouragement need not hold us back from victory today!"

-Mike Mason, "Practicing the Presence of People"

Monday, November 3, 2008

Back in the "game"...

So this is it, the single biggest step back into "normal" life... I have my first shift back at work tonight. I will be hostessing at abc restaurant starting tonight!

This will be a fairly big physical test for me, even though the shifts are just 4 hours, 4-8 over dinner time, 2 times a week. Once I do this for a couple of weeks then I'll try 3 shifts like this a week, then back to two shifts but longer shifts. I hope to be back waitressing 4 times a week, by spring 2009.

This restaurant is a very busy one and the job is very physical, especially waitressing. Wish me well, as I re-enter the work force, though very part-time, it feels like a huge step. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time:)

I'm excited to do out doing something that is social and brings in a little income. I miss the ladies at work, it's a great work environment and our boss is wonderful.
They've changed a lot of things since I worked there last, so there will be a learning curve at first, but I'm excited for this new challenge. I haven't done a hostess shift in 2 years and haven't waitressing in 19 months.

Off I go...

( I wonder if I'll fit into my uniform?!?!)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Be not Afraid.

A moving and inspiring quote from Nelson Mandela,

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. IT's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I’m happy that I’m sad.

I had a photo taken of me by my brother, Forrest, at the Thanksgiving table and something was said that made me burst out laughing. The conversation at the “Wagner” home can get quite lively, so I fail to remember exactly what it was that was said, perhaps it was my dear new sister in-law Rachel, informing us that, “ Sea cucumbers do in fact breath through their ass-holes.”
What ever it was, Forrest photographed my “burst”, I realized quickly that you couldn’t tell if I was laughing or crying, either way it looked painful, and there was no telling by someone who wasn’t there, exactly what emotion was being captured. As I drove home I started to think about the close nature of weeping sadness and wailing laughter, and I wondered if the body it’s self knew the difference. And in my heart I knew then, what I was to read three weeks later confirmed for me in this book, that both were of equal healthy strength, that with both I would live a richer, fuller and healthier life. Perhaps not the “Happy” life the world views; but something deeper; when was the last time you weep with sadness and felt it deeply? When was the last time you laughed so hard, your face and side hurt and your and muscles ached the next day?
These to me are signs of a life well lived and felt; they go together, feel one and open yourself up to feel the other, because it’s coming and you can’t have one without the other. They work together to dig more deeply into yourself. When you dig if you find hurt, pain, suffering, disappointment, regret, allow yourself to be sad and feel the emotions of these things in your lives, only then will you discover the hope to live a life in happiness that you’ve always desired.
This is what I realized I’ve been doing for the last few weeks, about 6 weeks so far, allowing myself to dig deeper to experience my sadness, as far back as my early childhood; because I knew that in the depths of my soul that this would mean happiness and joy on the other side like I’ve never experienced before. I have hope in a greater life, not one free from sadness, but one embracing sadness and truly experiencing and dancing with the joys of life and in my life. So where am I at right now, in this moment, I’m embracing sadness but with a growing smile on my face! I’m happy that I’m sad.

They say you learn something new everyday, well yesterday I learnt something big about myself and how I view life. The catalyst was a book I’m reading called, “Practicing the Presence of people”, by Mike Mason ( a local author from Langley BC, I’m now very much looking forward to reading some of his other works, “The Mystery of Marriage”, and “The Gospel According to Job.”)
What I have learn this, that not only is sadness okay, it is necessary. It’s necessary if you want a happy, joy filled life. The deeper you feel your sadness the deeper you will feel your joy.
I sucked into the worldly message that essence of a good life is a happy life; void of sadness. When most people are asked what they want for their children when they grow up, or even for their own lives, they say, “I just want them to be happy!” But this statement is setting your children and yourself up for grave disappointment. Unrealistic expectations, such as having a life only of happiness, set yourself up for failure ( or as the author Mr. Mason states ‘Expectations could be defined as “premeditated resentments.”) Obviously no parent wishes to set their children up for a life of disappointments and resentments, but many have and continue to do so. Mike Mason offers, “Seek a happy, lighthearted life and it will elude you. But seek a godly sadness, and happiness will come running as if its name had been called.”
I life with out sadness wouldn’t be very happy at all, because they need each other to have not just a happy life, but a joyful life. When you truly allow yourself to feel your sadness deep within, it is then that you will truly be able to experience happiness like never before.
Now sadness doesn’t need to go hand in hand with self-pity or depression, but happiness does do hand in hand with love, peace, faith and hope.
Because sadness and happiness are so closely linked, then we can choose to view sadness as hope, if we choose to do so. The author Mike Mason says it like this, “Sadness signals change. It is an intermediate emotion, a feeling that is going somewhere. Like a seventh or a ninth chord in music, it is rich in subtle tones that tend toward resolution, lean toward home.”
Home; being where we feel we are safe and can truly express our selves without judgment. Many of us have never experienced a home like this, or even feel at home within ourselves (void of our own personal judgments)…but this doesn’t been that we can’t start our journey HOME…to that place that God intended for us to find somewhere along this journey. I feel I have arrived at a home, I think it’s mine, I’ve hesitated to knock, but I’m bursting with anticipation to see what is inside!
Perhaps you have no idea what home feels like, or you are one of the rare few that’s always felt at home…where ever you are, there is always more. Even in your sadness, reach out to others with compassion, mercy, grace and love and you will find comfort; that’s what home feels like. Make yourself at home!
Mike Mason write, “ Sadness is hopeful. Sadness is like that moment in a rainstorm when the rain has not yet stopped, but there is a perceptible brightening, and there comes that subtle change in the atmosphere signifying the imminence of a rainbow.” Ahhhh, the hope that can shine through in the pouring rain!

Wearing my sunglasses to hide my tears and to reflect the glaring beauty of the hope for my future; while making myself at home,
Join me will you?...