MY Exact Age; Sept 28th, 2009
I have been living for 37 years, 8 months, and 26 days.
My age in months - 452 months
My age in weeks - 1969 weeks
My age in days - 13784 days
My age in hours - 330816 hours
My age in minutes - 19848960 minutes
My age in seconds - 1190937600 seconds
I've seen 9 leap years.
WOW! I feel really old all of a sudden and really young all at the same time?!?!
Monday, September 28, 2009
I have lost a wonderful friend; Jean Depape.
A Tribute to my dear friend that I loved so much, Jean Depape.
We have lost an incredible woman. WE say good-bye until we see you again, Jean.
Jean was so much to so many; mother, grandmother, friend, the list goes on and on as she touched lives every where she went.
She has touched my life deeply for over a decade as a mentor, fellow breast cancer survivour and close friend. We spoke recently, just a month ago when I got to share with her my good news of continued cancer-free diagnosis. Our phone call lasted for at least an hour, as most of our calls to each other did. She always started our calls the same way, with her asking if I had time to talk. I'm so grateful for every minute spent in conversation with Jean. I will miss her calls, our talks and her long messages on my voice mail. I'm so glad that Jean was never short with her words; I've appreciated all of her wisdom, humour, incite and love that she so carefully expressed with every word.
I will miss her voice, so distinctive, warm and giving. I will miss her laugh, so heart felt, contagious and bold. I will miss her hugs; so close, sincere and firm.
I will miss her visits, for which she never came empty handed. She always came with a gift for my girls and baking of some kind. But the best part was the visit, that was always to short.
Having tea with Jean was just like hanging out with a girlfriend, only this friend had decades of life experience next to my other friends; which made her visits extra special. Jean may have been in her mid-80's but she was so youthful in her approach to life. It amazed me how "hip" she was:) She was open, understanding, tolerant and adaptable to the world as it changed around her.
AS bold as she was to express her opinion, which was always worth listening to, she was never harsh or judgmental and always listened as well as she spoke. You always got your turn in a conversation with Jean and you were never left thinking, " I wonder what, Jean, thought of that? hmmm." I love that Jean was able to keep up with current events, stay relevant and put in her "two cents" (which was always worth so much more), right up until Sept. 27th; the day she went to be with her Creator and personal Saviour.
Jean loved the Lord and shared His love with everyone. I have no doubt of the love that Jean had for me and my family. I know that she cared for us, prayed for us and will greet us one day when it is our turn to go home.
Jean was a great mentor to me. She inspired me, encouraged me, urged me forward and calmed me down. She always knew exactly what to say to me at the right time, because she knew me well. We'd been travel buddies many times heading into the city for breast cancer awareness events, and on one special occasion we were even roomies, when we attended the World Breast Cancer Conference in Victoria in June of 2002. God knew I needed her in my life on so many occasions but especially at that time; as I'd just lost my very best friend, at 29, 3 weeks earlier. Jean was there for me through the tears and the painful feelings of loss. This time with her was very healing and theraputic for me; time with Jean always left you feeling well cared for.
Though recognized for her strength, resilience, boldness, diligence and stern approach with things she found unjust; she was well balanced with her zest for life, compassion, generosity, hearty appetite for new experiences and her love for fun.
Jean was passionate and joy-filled, hard-working and determined, loving and lovable, focused and giving. She had something to offer everyone and anyone who came near her because she knew that everyone and anyone had something to offer her.
Our lives are richer because we had Jean in it. WE have more to offer others, because Jean gave us so much. We have more love to give, because Jean loved us. We are better people, because Jean showed us how to be better.
Because Jean was in my life...
I AM braver, more educated, probably healthier, have a stronger character and am living a more full-filled life.
Even with the emptiness, I feel now that Jean is gone, I'm so full of goodness because she was there. She was always there for me aadn always had my back.
She urged us to always do our best, strive harder and not to hesitate. I feel so blessed to move forward with my life with her life lessons instilled in me.
I'm thankful for her stories, her sharing, her correction, her observations, her insights, her thoughts, her advice, her suggestions, her deliberate interjections when she didn't agree AND HER LOVE. She always did it all, in love. I always knew she cared deeply and loved completely.
The rewards she is now receiving must be awesome. And while she is receiving her gifts, I'm sure she's taking the opportunity to engage the Lord's ear. And what is pressing for her to say now...is to put in a good word for all of us...because that is her heart.
Please allow your hearts to be filled today, as Jean's. Always putting others first, loving with your whole heart, knowing where you've come from and where you are going and believing that goodness is a gift for everyone.
I love you Jean. I wish this wasn't good-bye but I'm so blessed that we once said hello.
We have lost an incredible woman. WE say good-bye until we see you again, Jean.
Jean was so much to so many; mother, grandmother, friend, the list goes on and on as she touched lives every where she went.
She has touched my life deeply for over a decade as a mentor, fellow breast cancer survivour and close friend. We spoke recently, just a month ago when I got to share with her my good news of continued cancer-free diagnosis. Our phone call lasted for at least an hour, as most of our calls to each other did. She always started our calls the same way, with her asking if I had time to talk. I'm so grateful for every minute spent in conversation with Jean. I will miss her calls, our talks and her long messages on my voice mail. I'm so glad that Jean was never short with her words; I've appreciated all of her wisdom, humour, incite and love that she so carefully expressed with every word.
I will miss her voice, so distinctive, warm and giving. I will miss her laugh, so heart felt, contagious and bold. I will miss her hugs; so close, sincere and firm.
I will miss her visits, for which she never came empty handed. She always came with a gift for my girls and baking of some kind. But the best part was the visit, that was always to short.
Having tea with Jean was just like hanging out with a girlfriend, only this friend had decades of life experience next to my other friends; which made her visits extra special. Jean may have been in her mid-80's but she was so youthful in her approach to life. It amazed me how "hip" she was:) She was open, understanding, tolerant and adaptable to the world as it changed around her.
AS bold as she was to express her opinion, which was always worth listening to, she was never harsh or judgmental and always listened as well as she spoke. You always got your turn in a conversation with Jean and you were never left thinking, " I wonder what, Jean, thought of that? hmmm." I love that Jean was able to keep up with current events, stay relevant and put in her "two cents" (which was always worth so much more), right up until Sept. 27th; the day she went to be with her Creator and personal Saviour.
Jean loved the Lord and shared His love with everyone. I have no doubt of the love that Jean had for me and my family. I know that she cared for us, prayed for us and will greet us one day when it is our turn to go home.
Jean was a great mentor to me. She inspired me, encouraged me, urged me forward and calmed me down. She always knew exactly what to say to me at the right time, because she knew me well. We'd been travel buddies many times heading into the city for breast cancer awareness events, and on one special occasion we were even roomies, when we attended the World Breast Cancer Conference in Victoria in June of 2002. God knew I needed her in my life on so many occasions but especially at that time; as I'd just lost my very best friend, at 29, 3 weeks earlier. Jean was there for me through the tears and the painful feelings of loss. This time with her was very healing and theraputic for me; time with Jean always left you feeling well cared for.
Though recognized for her strength, resilience, boldness, diligence and stern approach with things she found unjust; she was well balanced with her zest for life, compassion, generosity, hearty appetite for new experiences and her love for fun.
Jean was passionate and joy-filled, hard-working and determined, loving and lovable, focused and giving. She had something to offer everyone and anyone who came near her because she knew that everyone and anyone had something to offer her.
Our lives are richer because we had Jean in it. WE have more to offer others, because Jean gave us so much. We have more love to give, because Jean loved us. We are better people, because Jean showed us how to be better.
Because Jean was in my life...
I AM braver, more educated, probably healthier, have a stronger character and am living a more full-filled life.
Even with the emptiness, I feel now that Jean is gone, I'm so full of goodness because she was there. She was always there for me aadn always had my back.
She urged us to always do our best, strive harder and not to hesitate. I feel so blessed to move forward with my life with her life lessons instilled in me.
I'm thankful for her stories, her sharing, her correction, her observations, her insights, her thoughts, her advice, her suggestions, her deliberate interjections when she didn't agree AND HER LOVE. She always did it all, in love. I always knew she cared deeply and loved completely.
The rewards she is now receiving must be awesome. And while she is receiving her gifts, I'm sure she's taking the opportunity to engage the Lord's ear. And what is pressing for her to say now...is to put in a good word for all of us...because that is her heart.
Please allow your hearts to be filled today, as Jean's. Always putting others first, loving with your whole heart, knowing where you've come from and where you are going and believing that goodness is a gift for everyone.
I love you Jean. I wish this wasn't good-bye but I'm so blessed that we once said hello.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Hope
Heard a great quote today, "Hope isn't only when everything is going RIGHT, it's what you get when you are just making sense of it all."
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
It's my turn for something else...
It's my turn for something else because I'm done being a cancer patient. The health issues I continue to face have nothing to do with breast cancer. My focus gets to shift away, since being cancer free for just over a year now. Yesterday I had my 3 month check-up at the cancer Agency with my Oncologist, Dr. Karen Gelmon. She is so pleased with how well I am doing, and of course so am I!!
I will continue to see her every 3 months for another year. My blood work came back as that of a healthy person, with this whole Vampire craze, my blood is now desirable; though the blood bank won't take my blood (that's okay, I've had enough of needles)
I had a reality check this visit, as a young woman not much older than myself, came out and I heard her call her Mom on her cell, as her husband sat in disbelief. She informed her Mom that she'd gotten bad news; that her cancer had spread. Her hair was so short she'd obviously just finished treatment recently and already the cancer was fighting hard to take her life. For women that have been through wh
at we have, this is the worst news, this is a terminal diagnosis. IT hit ne hard, that it so easily could have been me...but it's not.
I cling to believing that everything was caught just in time to save my life. The diagnosis, the mastectomy, the treatment, then further treatment, everything timed just right. But I'm also reminded that everything is in His time, even the time I have on this earth.
I had a great talk with a young woman recently that reminded me that we live our lives in fallen bodies, and bad and terrible things can happen in our health because of that. I inherited some bad a terrible genes that caused my breasts to attempt killing me, not once but twice. Now that they are gone, I can live free of their wrath.
I need to express something that has been sitting my heart for awhile. I need to post a message for the "well-meaning" people who have tried to advise me on what I can do to avoid getting cancer again. Things like electrical appliances, sugar substitutes, tanning beds, preservatives etc etc etc. It would be great if it could actually be that simple. The bottom line is that I inherited these cancers, my Gradndmother had breast cancer at 19 years old, the kind I had the first time and my Great-Grandmother died of cancer at 42. They were not exposed to any of the above things, and they got cancer. It happens, whether we like it or not, whether we think we can control it or not, it happens. I know that people say these things to me, out of their own fear of getting such a disease. They need to believe that if they do everything "right", this could never happen to them.
I also believe that because I am still here, doesn't mean that I have done something right and those that are no longer with us, did something wrong. None of it has to make sense, and the stress we can cause ourselves trying to make sense of it, ceriainly isn't going to help out anyone. I have found peace with it not making sense for now. I know that one day, hopefully in the very distant future, it will make sense, when I arrive at my final destination.
So we are celebrating again! We found a super cheap trip to Disneyland at the beginning of October so we are going then with the girls. We were given four three day Park-hopper passes from our last trip, that we have to use within the year. Carmelle had a very scary incident on the submarine ride, that was operator error, that could have caused her serious ingury or even death (it's a long story) so they called after we got home an offered us the passes. Since Carmelle was totally fine, thankfully, we didn't make a big deal about it, but were happy to get the passes.
So we found flights for around $120 each return from Bellingham, and a cheap hotel stay, so off we are all going:) WE all LOVE disneyland!! Especially for that price!!
Making memories that will last a lifetime!!
I will continue to see her every 3 months for another year. My blood work came back as that of a healthy person, with this whole Vampire craze, my blood is now desirable; though the blood bank won't take my blood (that's okay, I've had enough of needles)
I had a reality check this visit, as a young woman not much older than myself, came out and I heard her call her Mom on her cell, as her husband sat in disbelief. She informed her Mom that she'd gotten bad news; that her cancer had spread. Her hair was so short she'd obviously just finished treatment recently and already the cancer was fighting hard to take her life. For women that have been through wh
at we have, this is the worst news, this is a terminal diagnosis. IT hit ne hard, that it so easily could have been me...but it's not.
I cling to believing that everything was caught just in time to save my life. The diagnosis, the mastectomy, the treatment, then further treatment, everything timed just right. But I'm also reminded that everything is in His time, even the time I have on this earth.
I had a great talk with a young woman recently that reminded me that we live our lives in fallen bodies, and bad and terrible things can happen in our health because of that. I inherited some bad a terrible genes that caused my breasts to attempt killing me, not once but twice. Now that they are gone, I can live free of their wrath.
I need to express something that has been sitting my heart for awhile. I need to post a message for the "well-meaning" people who have tried to advise me on what I can do to avoid getting cancer again. Things like electrical appliances, sugar substitutes, tanning beds, preservatives etc etc etc. It would be great if it could actually be that simple. The bottom line is that I inherited these cancers, my Gradndmother had breast cancer at 19 years old, the kind I had the first time and my Great-Grandmother died of cancer at 42. They were not exposed to any of the above things, and they got cancer. It happens, whether we like it or not, whether we think we can control it or not, it happens. I know that people say these things to me, out of their own fear of getting such a disease. They need to believe that if they do everything "right", this could never happen to them.
I also believe that because I am still here, doesn't mean that I have done something right and those that are no longer with us, did something wrong. None of it has to make sense, and the stress we can cause ourselves trying to make sense of it, ceriainly isn't going to help out anyone. I have found peace with it not making sense for now. I know that one day, hopefully in the very distant future, it will make sense, when I arrive at my final destination.
So we are celebrating again! We found a super cheap trip to Disneyland at the beginning of October so we are going then with the girls. We were given four three day Park-hopper passes from our last trip, that we have to use within the year. Carmelle had a very scary incident on the submarine ride, that was operator error, that could have caused her serious ingury or even death (it's a long story) so they called after we got home an offered us the passes. Since Carmelle was totally fine, thankfully, we didn't make a big deal about it, but were happy to get the passes.
So we found flights for around $120 each return from Bellingham, and a cheap hotel stay, so off we are all going:) WE all LOVE disneyland!! Especially for that price!!
Making memories that will last a lifetime!!
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