When I don't want to feel.

When you moan in pain, I feel the anguish of your suffering.
When you see a storm coming, I feel the thunder clap.
When you can't face another day, I feel there is no other.
When you cry tears of sorrow, I feel them running down my cheeks.

This is how I feel.

When you see the end of the road, I feel the journey is done.
When you cry out, "why?", I feel there is no answer.
When you lean the answer another way, I feel stupid for asking.
When you leave unanswered questions, I feel the answer is always "no."

This is how I feel.

When you speak without thinking, I feel misunderstood.
When you stop singing, I feel I never knew the tune.
When you rage in silence, I feel like screaming out loud!
When you shush my voice, I feel weakened inside.

This is how I feel.

When you wrap your arms around me, I feel peace at last.
When you whisper "I love you.", I feel the soothing of my soul.
When you open up and around me, I feel fully home.
When you let me weep, I feel I'll never be alone.

This is how to feel.

Still being me...

I can teach and still be learning.
I can be learning and still teach.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

My Christmas wish is for you and your family to have a wonderful Christmas season and happiest of New Year's!!
God Bless you every one and all the best for 2009!

Sincerely,

Feather Janz and Family

I am both.

I can celebrate life and still be grieving.
I can smile and still be sad.
I can have a heavy heart and still shine.
I can mourn and still be dancing.

I am still me.

I can weep and still give a warm hug.
I can set boundaries and still receive gifts.
I can work and still feel like I'm playing.
I can be sick and still know that I'm well.

I am still me.

I can be angry and still seek peace.
I can close one door and still open another.
I can scream out in pain and still whisper, "I love you."
I can stride with confidence and still curl-up with insecurity.

I am still me.

I can ignore what I refuse to hear and still listen listen with wisdom.
I can fall down in shame and still rise-up with dignity.
I can pray for a miracle while still having doubt in my heart.
I can live life to the fullest and still embrace death.

I am still me.

I can have a child like faith and still feel my age.
I can look at a storm cloud and still look for the rainbow.
I can feel the coolness of the rain and still feel the warmth of the sun.
I can know faith with no limits and still see the end of the run.

I am still me.

I can teach my children ti be independent and still hold them close.
I can see the positive in all things and not be blind to the negative.
I can stand corrected and still give advice.
I can receive a helping hand and still extend my hand.

I am still me.

I can still know that I'm rich with an empty bank account.
I can still have compassion for the addict and hate the addiction.
I can still have a highlight on the lowest of days.
I can feel like I've still gained "the world" when I've lost so much.

I am still me.

- Feather


I can be both. I am both.Both can co-exist without one being right and one being wrong. Without on being true and one being fake. They can come to together and both be me. I am not at battle within myself, there aren't two different side, they are what makes me, me. They form a balance together, which forms who I am and who I am to be.

"In the depths of winter, I finally learned that there was an vincible summer."
-Albert Camus

I can experience both in the same season.

"Some people grin and bear it while others smile and do it."
- Unknown

I think I am like most when I write that I'm not necessarily one or the other.
I have some areas of my life that cause me to grin and bear it" and other parts of me that "smile and do it." I'm certainly happier with some areas of my life than I am with others.
Much like my body:) I'm much happier with some parts than I am with others.
So I either accept them, work on them, change them (but this usually requires painful surgery) or ignore them.
Accepting them and working on them are probably the most effective in the long run, cheaper and healthier:)
So as I acknowledge what areas of my life need the work, accept the areas that I cannot change and pray to God that I'm not ignoring anything important and if I am,I pray for the wisdom to see.

Thankful that I am still me,

Feather

Prayers of healing and blessing for Kourtney!

I just wanted Kourtney and her family to know that she is in our thoughts and prayers.
I know that pain and suffering can break your life down, into day by day, hour to hour, minute to minute and even moment by moment; In all of these times, please know that you are loved!! Not only by the Mighty God our Holy Physician but also by all of us!

"Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you."
- Mary Tyler Moore

You are the most courageous girl I have ever known!!

Quote for my life right now.

"When you feel that you have reached the end and that you cannot go one step further, when life seems to be drained of all purpose: what a wonderful opportunity to start all over again, to turn over a new page."

- Eileen Caddy

JUST LISTENING.

Love again.

"Love is restless by nature, continually searching, probing the depths, seeking tirelessly to enlarge the heart and to exploit to the fullest the endless possibilities of human liberty."

"Love is like some violent revolutionary head stuffed with wild dreams instead of brains, a dangerous idealist who would like nothing better than to grab hold of us and shake us right down to our boots, overthrowing all our old ideas and ambitions, drastically renovating our hearts from the ground up, filling us with entirely new motives for living. To give in to such a force, for one moment, is to be quite, quite swept away."

- Mike Mason author of "The Mystery of Marriage"

Listening.

"Knowledge is speaking.
Wisedom is listening."

I'm working on both, especially the second.

I've booked my first speaking engagement for the new year, I'm very encouraged.

With "glowing" ears,

Feather

The Christmas Season is upon us.

"For it is in Giving that we Receive."

- St. Francis of Asissis