I know that life is never easy but sometimes it does get a little overwhelming. Please pray for us as we work through the following things.
Cadence has been struggling to fight this eye infection. She had 6 days of IV antibiodics at the hospital, then they switched her to oral antibiodics for another 10 days, just to have her end up vomitting for 24 hours. We realized that by adding gravol with each dose every 6 hours, she's feeling much better.She still looks like she has a black eye from the infection, but the swelling is gone and it's getting better.
Carmelle will be going to see some specialists because she's demonstrating behaviours of Tourettes syndrome. She repeatedly taps things; claps her hands, pats her legs and if she's really frustrated she slaps her head. They are increased to every minute when she's excited, nervous, upset, or anxious. We noticed it a little over the last couple of months and it's increased since the routine of school ended. It's especially been bad since I've returned to work this last week and Cadence has been making trips to the hospital. When Carmelle was born she had a traumatic birth, a code pink, and was deprived of oxygen for a scary amount of time. She had no heart beat at birth and wasn't breathing. They observed her for brain damage at birth, but nothing obvious showed up then. We've always known that something neurological could show up down the road. Hopefully this will be the only thing she will need to overcome. It's not something that bothers her or causes her pain, our only concern is that it could interfere with learning in the classroom and she starts grade one in fall.
We've just been informed that I may lose my benefits at work because I haven't been working enough hours. We can't afford to lose these medical and dental benefits for our family, as Chris is self employed and we couldn't afford them any other way.Please pray that the insurance company will keep me on the plan if I work more hours and that I will physically be able to work more hours from now on. Thankfully I've been feeling really good the last week and I only hope this will continue.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
A gentle reminder:)
Whatever is true, whatever is noble,
whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable,
if there is anything excellent or praiseworthy,
think about these things.
whatever is right, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable,
if there is anything excellent or praiseworthy,
think about these things.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Bloody mosquitos!
Cadence has ended up with such a bad eye infection from a mosquito bite that she has ended up having to be an out-patient for IV anti-biodics. Here eye almost swelled shut through the day, so I took her to the ER. (You could almost see it swelling) Getting the IV in was fine, but keeping it in was tricky. Thankfully Chris was there to hold her. The first IV she pulled away from before they could tape it down. The second one stayed in for 50 minutes of the one hour infusion, before she somehow figured out how to unscrew it, I didn't even know how to do that?!?! I called for help as her blood backed up the line on to her shirt and the medicine spilled out. I was half holding on to her when it happened, Good Grief!! They had to take the IV out, which she should have worn home until tomorrow, but they had to remove it because it was contaminated:(
So tomorrow when we go to the Pediatric Ward for another treatment, she has to have another IV put in, the third one:( She'll see an eye specialist tomorrow and they'll decide how many IV treatments she'll need, probably a few days worth.
Other than that it was a good day:) I got to visit with my good friend Shannon again and my girls have fallen in love with her youngest daughter Taylor who is 10.
My asthma has been acting up again, probably from all the emotions and excitment the last few days. I've had to go back on oral prednisone steriods, I don't like taking them, but I also like breathing properly, so I'll take them.
So tomorrow when we go to the Pediatric Ward for another treatment, she has to have another IV put in, the third one:( She'll see an eye specialist tomorrow and they'll decide how many IV treatments she'll need, probably a few days worth.
Other than that it was a good day:) I got to visit with my good friend Shannon again and my girls have fallen in love with her youngest daughter Taylor who is 10.
My asthma has been acting up again, probably from all the emotions and excitment the last few days. I've had to go back on oral prednisone steriods, I don't like taking them, but I also like breathing properly, so I'll take them.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Baby boy Wagner!
My brother Forrest and his wife, Amanda, welcomed their first child, a son; this morning just before 8 am. They have named him Ezekiel James Oren Wagner. He was 7 lbs 6.8 ozs. They live in Prt Moody and he was born at Royal Columbian hospital.
Oren is Hebrew for Tree; as in "Can't see the Forest for the Trees." I love it!!
He's adorable and perfect! Mommy is doing well; Amanda you did great!! Fairly quick labout, arriving at the hospital at 2am and baby by 8am. Forrest if very proud of his beautiful wife:) HE said she was as gorgeous as ever, even in the middle of labour:) That's my brother!! I got to see the precious little guy already. I had the honour of being the first visitor. I just happened to be in Vancouver for a Dr's appointment this morning so I got to see them on the way home. What a great day...
Except the Dr. I saw today, Ear, nose and Throat specialist, says I need to have nose/sinus surgery; probably fairly soon:( I'll be having a sinus CT done to see what's all going on in there and how much surgery has to be done. I was going to have this surgery 2 years ago but it got delayed because of breast cancer treatment.Now it has to get done. It's a deviated septum and an enlarged something in my sinuses!!?? What I'm not exactly sure, but it has to get fixed so I can breath properly and not have such severe sinus drip which is aggrevating my asthma. Seriously though, what else can be wrong with me!! I shouldn't say that to much, because they want to look at possibly removing my tonsils as well eventually, they are a problem too:(
But on another positive note, my childhood friend, Shannon is on her way here right now with her one daughter Taylor. We are going to have a great visit and lots of fun, as we always do when we get together! Shannon and I have not lived in the same province as each other for 18 years, but we always stay close. When we are together it's like we've never been apart, friends like that are so great!!
This has been my July 13th. Have a great day!!
Oren is Hebrew for Tree; as in "Can't see the Forest for the Trees." I love it!!
He's adorable and perfect! Mommy is doing well; Amanda you did great!! Fairly quick labout, arriving at the hospital at 2am and baby by 8am. Forrest if very proud of his beautiful wife:) HE said she was as gorgeous as ever, even in the middle of labour:) That's my brother!! I got to see the precious little guy already. I had the honour of being the first visitor. I just happened to be in Vancouver for a Dr's appointment this morning so I got to see them on the way home. What a great day...
Except the Dr. I saw today, Ear, nose and Throat specialist, says I need to have nose/sinus surgery; probably fairly soon:( I'll be having a sinus CT done to see what's all going on in there and how much surgery has to be done. I was going to have this surgery 2 years ago but it got delayed because of breast cancer treatment.Now it has to get done. It's a deviated septum and an enlarged something in my sinuses!!?? What I'm not exactly sure, but it has to get fixed so I can breath properly and not have such severe sinus drip which is aggrevating my asthma. Seriously though, what else can be wrong with me!! I shouldn't say that to much, because they want to look at possibly removing my tonsils as well eventually, they are a problem too:(
But on another positive note, my childhood friend, Shannon is on her way here right now with her one daughter Taylor. We are going to have a great visit and lots of fun, as we always do when we get together! Shannon and I have not lived in the same province as each other for 18 years, but we always stay close. When we are together it's like we've never been apart, friends like that are so great!!
This has been my July 13th. Have a great day!!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Rachel Elisabeth Barkey- Jan.22, 1972- July 2nd, 2009
All that were touched, gathered in one accord
and there was dancing.
Hearts were united, tears were shared
and there was dancing.
Faith was restored, spirits renewed
and there was dancing.
Hands were held, bodies embraced
and there was dancing.
Laughter was heard, while tissues were many
and there was dancing.
Anthems of praise were lifted up, while organ pipes bellowed
and there was dancing.
Souls raised up in rejoicing, while hearts were tugging
and there was dancing.
Young and old were changed forever
and there was dancing.
The Holy Spirit came, so we'd never be the same
and there was dancing.
The light of Heaven shone down from above
and there was dancing.
Healing came to many around, peace and calm settled down
and there was dancing.
With sorrow we said our good-byes, with hope for tomorrow
and there was dancing.
She loves to dance.
and there was dancing.
Hearts were united, tears were shared
and there was dancing.
Faith was restored, spirits renewed
and there was dancing.
Hands were held, bodies embraced
and there was dancing.
Laughter was heard, while tissues were many
and there was dancing.
Anthems of praise were lifted up, while organ pipes bellowed
and there was dancing.
Souls raised up in rejoicing, while hearts were tugging
and there was dancing.
Young and old were changed forever
and there was dancing.
The Holy Spirit came, so we'd never be the same
and there was dancing.
The light of Heaven shone down from above
and there was dancing.
Healing came to many around, peace and calm settled down
and there was dancing.
With sorrow we said our good-byes, with hope for tomorrow
and there was dancing.
She loves to dance.
I wrote this for Rachel almost 6 months ago; it's time to read it again:)
* When I sent this to Rachel almost 6 months ago, she humbly replied, "Thank-you, it was very kind of you."
Today we said good-bye to Rachel. What a beautiful service for such a beautiful women; so full of grace, conviction,reverence and peace. I felt honoured to be there today, to call Rachel my friend and to be in the presence of her amazing family. I was touched and moved by the words that were spoken, the hymns that were sung and the testimony of faith that was given. The tears flowed often and freely as fellowship took place. God's presence could not be missed. Rachel's life was celebrated and there was laughter, love and life.
Then I headed off to the American Idol concert and I "danced like no body was watching"; I think Rachel would have approved:) she loved to dance...she must be getting down tonight:)!!!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
"Celebrating You!"
A “toast” to a Dear Friend.
My world was rocked this week, in a hard and cruel direction, when I received word that a life long, dear friend had received a devastating diagnosis of breast cancer returning. The vengeful disease has spread to her liver and bones; she was initially treated aggressively four and half years ago.
I write this “toast” to her today, on this her 37th birthday. I want to give tribute to her on this day for the life that she lives so well. Every step of the way she keeps her eye on the prize that God has set before her and takes each day in stride. I have seen this for almost 30 years, from that fist day I saw her confidently enter our Sunday school room, at Sardis Community Church . We were 8 years old and could have passed as sisters; for which we were often mistaken as through the years ( a mistake I found so flattering time and time again) She greeted me that first day with a beaming, welcoming smile and I knew that instant, my life would be richer if I could call her my friend.
I was in awe of her every Sunday as she recited her memory verses perfectly and knew the answer to every question; I wanted to be just like her. I was so excited when I was invited for that first visit to her home. Her family had fairly recently returned from the Mission field in Africa , and were house-sitting until they were settled. I was fascinated by this little girl who looked so much like me; our birthdays were even only three weeks apart, in yet our lives had been so different. We’d lived on separate continents and grown-up in different worlds until then. I remember thinking that we were so similar in yet so uniquely different.
Her father was a Doctor, a missionary doctor, and my Daddy’s were hippies. Her name was biblical and mine was of the “air”. My brothers and I got names representing the “earth” (Forrest), “water” (D.E.W. “Daniel”) and “air” (Feather), I was a “good” flower child and she was a good MK. I remember she’d often nudge me out for top prize in Sunday school class memory verse competition and usually win the bible trivia games. She set the bar high, rose to the occasion and challenged the rest of us, including me to work harder and always do our best. It was healthy competition and though she usually came in first; even as little girls she was the first one to give a word of encouragement and praise for our efforts. I remember once trying out for a solo in children’s choir, she got the one I wanted and she did it so well, it made me sing my heart out when it was my turn. She could sing, act, do gymnastics, play sports and get straight A’s in school, all the while being a friend to everyone, lighting up the room where ever she went and drawing everyone close to her.
She is a natural born leader and friend. She is so attractive to everyone, I don’t think there was a single boy in our youth group that didn’t have a crush on her at one time or another! Her beauty always shone inside and out and was never missed.
When I was 9 years old I was baptized. She let me borrow her Dad on this special day and after I shared my testimony he prayed the prayer of dedication for me. By this time visiting her home was a regular activity for me and I enjoyed many of them as well as many special occasions and birthdays.
As a young teen,13, I considered going to MEI just so I could spend more time with her. I decided in the end to attend Sardis which was obviously where God intended for me to go.
We stayed close over the years of high school through youth group, Sunday school, church activities, family camp and church dramas. When I’d see her play basket ball in high school, I was glad I never had to play against her! She dominated the game, played hard, and showed the rest of us how to be the best team player, the MVP and be devoted to her personal best. She exemplified dedication, discipline and focus; while being full of school spirit, appreciation for her opponents and love for the game. When I saw her play I was sure proud to call her my friend, even if it meant getting a sweaty hug! After high school we didn’t see as much of each other, but when we did it was always like no time had passed and we’d pick up where we’d left off.
By God’s wonderfully guided hand she moved across the hall from me in my apartment, in 1994-95. During which time we were 23 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time. She rallied around me as any loving caring friend would, and it was so great to have someone who’d known me most of my life live so close by during such a difficult time in my life. We attended a retreat together at Camp Malibu, up the BC Coast at Jervis inlet, where we connected again and shared talks on a deeply spiritual and emotional level. These talks set a foundation of incredible personal growth, maturity and development in me. She encouraged me in ways only she could have and she gave me compliments that have always stuck by me and meant so much to me all these year’s because they came from her. She told me that weekend that I had amazing eyes, ever since then I’ve really loved my eyes. She helped me to see things in a way I’d never seen them before. Her heart felt honesty and openness moved me, changed me and inspired me. From that point on in my life my heart changed and I became much more open, honest and real person, because of the wonderful example she’d been to me.
That summer I met a guy, who I thought rather cute, but once I introduced him to her, it was over for me. But that was okay, he was a very lucky guy. Later that summer in Ontario I met her husband to be, that she didn’t even know yet; I was impressed. (She went to the same high school as my husband, what a small world!) In 1998 we ended up in premarital counseling together at Northview church in Abbotsford. We ended up getting married a few weeks apart and we’d “complained” to each other a year and a half or so before, in the foyer of our childhood church, that we were still single. God knew He had the right men in mind for us!
In late June of 2004 she called me to let me know she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer. I was shocked and saddened; as this was something I’d been through and would have never wished for anyone, especially for someone I’d loved and cared for. I was happy that she felt she could call me and reach out to me in her time of need but saddened by the circumstances. I only hoped and prayed the best for her always. My heart ached as she shared her painful journey through her cancer treatment. I always appreciated her calls, notes, cards and emails. I was especially glad when her communications turned out well and she’d recovered from treatment and returned to “normal” living with her husband and two young children.
Little did we know that only a few years later I’d find myself in almost the same situation; two young children, a diagnosis of breast cancer and many months of cancer treatment and an uncertain future. She was one of the first people I called, and I believe my message said something like, “This is like a sick version of Tag, but I guess I’m it.” She called me back and we had many heart to heart talks over that year plus. She allowed me to discuss the tough questions with her, that I felt I couldn’t really discuss with any one else. She allowed me to cry when needed, she answered my questions openly and bluntly and enabled me to stumble upon many of my own answers. Her calm, familiar voice reassured me of God’s perfect plan for my life and of the childlike faith I needed to embrace once again. She was the friend I needed and always had in her. Today I thank her again for being there for me, and taking the time to revisit some of her painful thoughts and memories for me. She enriched my soul and gave me hope. She caused me to focus again on our Heavenly Father and to bask in His glory; to be grateful for the life He has given so freely to us and the promises that we can cling to in living this life and facing our death.
Even now as her reality is my greatest nightmare, she reminds me that He is faithful. That He knew us in our mother’s womb and has never forsaken us. That His will, will be done on earth and that He will take us to Heaven. She finds peace in knowing God has prepared a place for her that she will be sooner than we’d all like, but she knows she serves a God who is good...all the time.
At this time we plead with God to keep her here as long as possible. We pray comfort for her family and all those that love her. We pray especially for her husband, son and daughter who God has given to her as her family.
It is the longing of my heart that my life will continue to be touched, inspired, molded, challenged and changed by this amazing friend and woman of God. Thank-you my dear friend for a life lived so well, even in the face of your current reality. Thank-you for your courageous, beautiful, thoughtful, caring and giving spirit; thank-you for being my friend.
Things that I have learnt from this friend:
1. That Methuselah was the oldest living man, and mentioned in the Bible.
2. Where Botswana was, beside South Africa.
3. That bald is still beautiful.
4. That women are so much more than our breasts.
5. When you communicate with someone, look through their eyes to their soul.
6. Trust God in all things.
7. Always put your best foot forward.
8. Its okay to get a second and third opinion from a medical professional.
9. If you eat slowly, you won’t be as hungry in 20 minutes and you’ll eat less.
10. VW’s provide the “coolest” ride! Especially red bugs!
11. Realness is a gift you can offer others.
12. Perfection is not a gift, but something we can overcome.(None of us are perfect)
13. Sing your heart out.
14. Play hard! Work hard!
15. Love harder and forgive.
16. Great men will be eventually found; after some good men and some not so good men
17. That I have beautiful eyes.
18. That I’m never alone.
19. That friends can grow apart and still be close.
20. That dreams can come true even if you wake before they are over.
Today we said good-bye to Rachel. What a beautiful service for such a beautiful women; so full of grace, conviction,reverence and peace. I felt honoured to be there today, to call Rachel my friend and to be in the presence of her amazing family. I was touched and moved by the words that were spoken, the hymns that were sung and the testimony of faith that was given. The tears flowed often and freely as fellowship took place. God's presence could not be missed. Rachel's life was celebrated and there was laughter, love and life.
Then I headed off to the American Idol concert and I "danced like no body was watching"; I think Rachel would have approved:) she loved to dance...she must be getting down tonight:)!!!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
"Celebrating You!"
A “toast” to a Dear Friend.
My world was rocked this week, in a hard and cruel direction, when I received word that a life long, dear friend had received a devastating diagnosis of breast cancer returning. The vengeful disease has spread to her liver and bones; she was initially treated aggressively four and half years ago.
I write this “toast” to her today, on this her 37th birthday. I want to give tribute to her on this day for the life that she lives so well. Every step of the way she keeps her eye on the prize that God has set before her and takes each day in stride. I have seen this for almost 30 years, from that fist day I saw her confidently enter our Sunday school room, at Sardis Community Church . We were 8 years old and could have passed as sisters; for which we were often mistaken as through the years ( a mistake I found so flattering time and time again) She greeted me that first day with a beaming, welcoming smile and I knew that instant, my life would be richer if I could call her my friend.
I was in awe of her every Sunday as she recited her memory verses perfectly and knew the answer to every question; I wanted to be just like her. I was so excited when I was invited for that first visit to her home. Her family had fairly recently returned from the Mission field in Africa , and were house-sitting until they were settled. I was fascinated by this little girl who looked so much like me; our birthdays were even only three weeks apart, in yet our lives had been so different. We’d lived on separate continents and grown-up in different worlds until then. I remember thinking that we were so similar in yet so uniquely different.
Her father was a Doctor, a missionary doctor, and my Daddy’s were hippies. Her name was biblical and mine was of the “air”. My brothers and I got names representing the “earth” (Forrest), “water” (D.E.W. “Daniel”) and “air” (Feather), I was a “good” flower child and she was a good MK. I remember she’d often nudge me out for top prize in Sunday school class memory verse competition and usually win the bible trivia games. She set the bar high, rose to the occasion and challenged the rest of us, including me to work harder and always do our best. It was healthy competition and though she usually came in first; even as little girls she was the first one to give a word of encouragement and praise for our efforts. I remember once trying out for a solo in children’s choir, she got the one I wanted and she did it so well, it made me sing my heart out when it was my turn. She could sing, act, do gymnastics, play sports and get straight A’s in school, all the while being a friend to everyone, lighting up the room where ever she went and drawing everyone close to her.
She is a natural born leader and friend. She is so attractive to everyone, I don’t think there was a single boy in our youth group that didn’t have a crush on her at one time or another! Her beauty always shone inside and out and was never missed.
When I was 9 years old I was baptized. She let me borrow her Dad on this special day and after I shared my testimony he prayed the prayer of dedication for me. By this time visiting her home was a regular activity for me and I enjoyed many of them as well as many special occasions and birthdays.
As a young teen,13, I considered going to MEI just so I could spend more time with her. I decided in the end to attend Sardis which was obviously where God intended for me to go.
We stayed close over the years of high school through youth group, Sunday school, church activities, family camp and church dramas. When I’d see her play basket ball in high school, I was glad I never had to play against her! She dominated the game, played hard, and showed the rest of us how to be the best team player, the MVP and be devoted to her personal best. She exemplified dedication, discipline and focus; while being full of school spirit, appreciation for her opponents and love for the game. When I saw her play I was sure proud to call her my friend, even if it meant getting a sweaty hug! After high school we didn’t see as much of each other, but when we did it was always like no time had passed and we’d pick up where we’d left off.
By God’s wonderfully guided hand she moved across the hall from me in my apartment, in 1994-95. During which time we were 23 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time. She rallied around me as any loving caring friend would, and it was so great to have someone who’d known me most of my life live so close by during such a difficult time in my life. We attended a retreat together at Camp Malibu, up the BC Coast at Jervis inlet, where we connected again and shared talks on a deeply spiritual and emotional level. These talks set a foundation of incredible personal growth, maturity and development in me. She encouraged me in ways only she could have and she gave me compliments that have always stuck by me and meant so much to me all these year’s because they came from her. She told me that weekend that I had amazing eyes, ever since then I’ve really loved my eyes. She helped me to see things in a way I’d never seen them before. Her heart felt honesty and openness moved me, changed me and inspired me. From that point on in my life my heart changed and I became much more open, honest and real person, because of the wonderful example she’d been to me.
That summer I met a guy, who I thought rather cute, but once I introduced him to her, it was over for me. But that was okay, he was a very lucky guy. Later that summer in Ontario I met her husband to be, that she didn’t even know yet; I was impressed. (She went to the same high school as my husband, what a small world!) In 1998 we ended up in premarital counseling together at Northview church in Abbotsford. We ended up getting married a few weeks apart and we’d “complained” to each other a year and a half or so before, in the foyer of our childhood church, that we were still single. God knew He had the right men in mind for us!
In late June of 2004 she called me to let me know she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer. I was shocked and saddened; as this was something I’d been through and would have never wished for anyone, especially for someone I’d loved and cared for. I was happy that she felt she could call me and reach out to me in her time of need but saddened by the circumstances. I only hoped and prayed the best for her always. My heart ached as she shared her painful journey through her cancer treatment. I always appreciated her calls, notes, cards and emails. I was especially glad when her communications turned out well and she’d recovered from treatment and returned to “normal” living with her husband and two young children.
Little did we know that only a few years later I’d find myself in almost the same situation; two young children, a diagnosis of breast cancer and many months of cancer treatment and an uncertain future. She was one of the first people I called, and I believe my message said something like, “This is like a sick version of Tag, but I guess I’m it.” She called me back and we had many heart to heart talks over that year plus. She allowed me to discuss the tough questions with her, that I felt I couldn’t really discuss with any one else. She allowed me to cry when needed, she answered my questions openly and bluntly and enabled me to stumble upon many of my own answers. Her calm, familiar voice reassured me of God’s perfect plan for my life and of the childlike faith I needed to embrace once again. She was the friend I needed and always had in her. Today I thank her again for being there for me, and taking the time to revisit some of her painful thoughts and memories for me. She enriched my soul and gave me hope. She caused me to focus again on our Heavenly Father and to bask in His glory; to be grateful for the life He has given so freely to us and the promises that we can cling to in living this life and facing our death.
Even now as her reality is my greatest nightmare, she reminds me that He is faithful. That He knew us in our mother’s womb and has never forsaken us. That His will, will be done on earth and that He will take us to Heaven. She finds peace in knowing God has prepared a place for her that she will be sooner than we’d all like, but she knows she serves a God who is good...all the time.
At this time we plead with God to keep her here as long as possible. We pray comfort for her family and all those that love her. We pray especially for her husband, son and daughter who God has given to her as her family.
It is the longing of my heart that my life will continue to be touched, inspired, molded, challenged and changed by this amazing friend and woman of God. Thank-you my dear friend for a life lived so well, even in the face of your current reality. Thank-you for your courageous, beautiful, thoughtful, caring and giving spirit; thank-you for being my friend.
Things that I have learnt from this friend:
1. That Methuselah was the oldest living man, and mentioned in the Bible.
2. Where Botswana was, beside South Africa.
3. That bald is still beautiful.
4. That women are so much more than our breasts.
5. When you communicate with someone, look through their eyes to their soul.
6. Trust God in all things.
7. Always put your best foot forward.
8. Its okay to get a second and third opinion from a medical professional.
9. If you eat slowly, you won’t be as hungry in 20 minutes and you’ll eat less.
10. VW’s provide the “coolest” ride! Especially red bugs!
11. Realness is a gift you can offer others.
12. Perfection is not a gift, but something we can overcome.(None of us are perfect)
13. Sing your heart out.
14. Play hard! Work hard!
15. Love harder and forgive.
16. Great men will be eventually found; after some good men and some not so good men
17. That I have beautiful eyes.
18. That I’m never alone.
19. That friends can grow apart and still be close.
20. That dreams can come true even if you wake before they are over.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Messages from Rachel's parents; July 1st and 2nd
Dear Ones,
Cathy and I know and appreciate all of the prayers and warm wishes from all of you. To tell you how God has answered would fill a book! We are blessed and comforted every day. We have supernatural peace and joy.....yes, joy as we do our part to help Rachel, Neil and the kids.
Cathy of course is the main stay...laundry, dishes, changing beds... The children come to our apartment across the street to play and spend time with us almost every day, some times staying for sleep overs. This allows privacy for Rachel during the nursing visits and time for Neil to do errands [ he has sold his business ]. They are doing well and can talk of their mom's loss.
Andrea who lives above us is the great Aunty when she is not working. Her struggle at this time, is having to choose between work and time off to be with Rachel. Her boss is very understanding. We are thankful.
The 5 1/2 months have been filled with good memories that we will all cherish. Time together is precious as we grieve. So many with sudden losses [two of our close friends have lost children in the last 3 weeks] do not have the blessings that we have had just to be and to cherish and to say "I love you". Time as a family. Visits from so many. A wonderful time at the cottage in May with Rachel and the kids with exceptional weather. .....all blessings.
Rachel has suffered bravely of course and fights nausea and pain everyday. Her narcotic requirements [along with 11 other medications] are significant with almost every bone in her body involved but her palliative doctors have done a great job. Nurses now visit every day and a team approach is obvious. This is a big relief for me. I have been able to be her dad and not her doctor.Recently her abdominal fluid and liver enlargement were so great that fluid drainage has been necessary. This has led to accelerated protein loss in the fluid and consequential significant measurable weakness and leg swelling. She cannot walk even with help now and spends most [almost all] of her time in bed. We are thankful for the computer and phone which allow her to continue 'living'. An inspiration to many still from her sick bed, she is. But she is failing quickly.
Her friends have helped in many important ways including providing a housekeeper every week, gardening,planting, tending flowers, food and child care. So generous. More offers of course than we can use.
The reality of the final loss is definitely more and more on our minds. Only the Lord knows our times and we trust Him daily for patience and strength.
As most of you know, Rachel's testimony found at www.deathisnotdying.com and the audio at www.churchonthewestside.com has had literally millions who have heard her message given originally to 550 women at a conference in early March in Vancouver. [John Piper and Nancy-Leigh DeMoss and others picked it up and broadcasted it recently on Christian radio ] DVD's can now be purchased from the internet site to share with others. This message has spread in a supernatural way around the world with China being in the top 5 countries where the video is being watched! We give God the credit for this wonderful use that her life is and will be in an on going y leading many to Him and making many more serious about being followers of Christ.
Life is short. We are created to give Him glory by doing good things and living for Him. We value your love and send you ours in return as we have been loved by Him who gave His best for us.
Do not feel you have to respond. Let this be an encouragement to do today what God is calling you to do, maybe for someone else....tomorrow will have enough troubles of it's own.
Love
Ben and Cathy
Subject: Rachel's promotion......
Received: Thursday, July 2, 2009, 5:14 PM
Dear Ones
Cathy and I wish to rejoice in Rachel's promotion to be with Jesus and to be free of her physical suffering. She slept away peacefully early this morning at home. Her life finished well. She loved Jesus. Our sure hope is in her eternal life and our anticipated reunion with her.
For those of you who wish to remember her and celebrate with us, the funeral will be at St. John's Shaunessy Church,
1490 Nanton Ave.,
Vancouver, BC,
V6H2E2.
This will be on Wednesday July 8th at 1 PM. A reception at the church will follow .
In lieu of flowers please consider sponsoring or a donation to a child through Child of Mine found at www.childofmine.ca or World Vision at www.worldvision.ca.
We are so grateful for all your past and present care for our family. Thank you.
Love
Ben and Cathy
uu
Cathy and I know and appreciate all of the prayers and warm wishes from all of you. To tell you how God has answered would fill a book! We are blessed and comforted every day. We have supernatural peace and joy.....yes, joy as we do our part to help Rachel, Neil and the kids.
Cathy of course is the main stay...laundry, dishes, changing beds... The children come to our apartment across the street to play and spend time with us almost every day, some times staying for sleep overs. This allows privacy for Rachel during the nursing visits and time for Neil to do errands [ he has sold his business ]. They are doing well and can talk of their mom's loss.
Andrea who lives above us is the great Aunty when she is not working. Her struggle at this time, is having to choose between work and time off to be with Rachel. Her boss is very understanding. We are thankful.
The 5 1/2 months have been filled with good memories that we will all cherish. Time together is precious as we grieve. So many with sudden losses [two of our close friends have lost children in the last 3 weeks] do not have the blessings that we have had just to be and to cherish and to say "I love you". Time as a family. Visits from so many. A wonderful time at the cottage in May with Rachel and the kids with exceptional weather. .....all blessings.
Rachel has suffered bravely of course and fights nausea and pain everyday. Her narcotic requirements [along with 11 other medications] are significant with almost every bone in her body involved but her palliative doctors have done a great job. Nurses now visit every day and a team approach is obvious. This is a big relief for me. I have been able to be her dad and not her doctor.Recently her abdominal fluid and liver enlargement were so great that fluid drainage has been necessary. This has led to accelerated protein loss in the fluid and consequential significant measurable weakness and leg swelling. She cannot walk even with help now and spends most [almost all] of her time in bed. We are thankful for the computer and phone which allow her to continue 'living'. An inspiration to many still from her sick bed, she is. But she is failing quickly.
Her friends have helped in many important ways including providing a housekeeper every week, gardening,planting, tending flowers, food and child care. So generous. More offers of course than we can use.
The reality of the final loss is definitely more and more on our minds. Only the Lord knows our times and we trust Him daily for patience and strength.
As most of you know, Rachel's testimony found at www.deathisnotdying.com and the audio at www.churchonthewestside.com has had literally millions who have heard her message given originally to 550 women at a conference in early March in Vancouver. [John Piper and Nancy-Leigh DeMoss and others picked it up and broadcasted it recently on Christian radio ] DVD's can now be purchased from the internet site to share with others. This message has spread in a supernatural way around the world with China being in the top 5 countries where the video is being watched! We give God the credit for this wonderful use that her life is and will be in an on going y leading many to Him and making many more serious about being followers of Christ.
Life is short. We are created to give Him glory by doing good things and living for Him. We value your love and send you ours in return as we have been loved by Him who gave His best for us.
Do not feel you have to respond. Let this be an encouragement to do today what God is calling you to do, maybe for someone else....tomorrow will have enough troubles of it's own.
Love
Ben and Cathy
Subject: Rachel's promotion......
Received: Thursday, July 2, 2009, 5:14 PM
Dear Ones
Cathy and I wish to rejoice in Rachel's promotion to be with Jesus and to be free of her physical suffering. She slept away peacefully early this morning at home. Her life finished well. She loved Jesus. Our sure hope is in her eternal life and our anticipated reunion with her.
For those of you who wish to remember her and celebrate with us, the funeral will be at St. John's Shaunessy Church,
1490 Nanton Ave.,
Vancouver, BC,
V6H2E2.
This will be on Wednesday July 8th at 1 PM. A reception at the church will follow .
In lieu of flowers please consider sponsoring or a donation to a child through Child of Mine found at www.childofmine.ca or World Vision at www.worldvision.ca.
We are so grateful for all your past and present care for our family. Thank you.
Love
Ben and Cathy
uu
Rachel's March 4th talk, "Death is not dying"
Rachel prepared a talk for a group of women at her church, that was to be recorded; so that one day her children could watch it. This event grew and grew, until 600+ people arrived to hear her speak. It was recorded and one day her children will watch and be so proud of their mother and feel that they got to know her heart.
This talk of hers, which she titled "Death is not dying", hit the internet and grew and grew and grew... now tens of thousands of people have listened to her share; all over the world. She is wise, humble, giving, courageous, funny and bold. Hear her share her story; hear her voice: www.deathisnotdying.com
This talk of hers, which she titled "Death is not dying", hit the internet and grew and grew and grew... now tens of thousands of people have listened to her share; all over the world. She is wise, humble, giving, courageous, funny and bold. Hear her share her story; hear her voice: www.deathisnotdying.com
Sunday, July 5, 2009
A verse that Rachel shared couple of months ago.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.”
Isaiah 43:1-2
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you.”
Isaiah 43:1-2
Rachel's obituary
Rachel Barkey (nee Sawer) went home to her Lord on July 2, 2009 at 37 years of age. Rachel is survived by her husband Neil and her children Quinn and Kate, parents Ben and Cathy Sawer, brother David (Johanna) Sawer and sister Andrea Sawer.
Rachel was born in London, Ontario and her life travels included years spent in Africa, growing up in Chilliwack (BC), university in London (ON) and working in Dallas (TX) before settling in Vancouver (BC). Rachel had a long career in politics and has many friends from her time working for the Conservative Party of Canada and the BC Liberal Party. A long list of career highlights do not compare to Rachel’s accomplishments as a loving wife, mother and servant of Jesus.
Rachel had a full and blessed life. She was a loving wife and mother who delighted in serving others, throwing parties, helping friends and spending days at the cabin with her family. She loved everyone selflessly and her passions were evident in everything she did. Rachel adored her children – Quinn and Kate were her greatest gifts. She will be greatly missed by her family, her friends and everyone whose life she has touched.
The family would like to extend a very special thanks to Dr. Will Johnston and Dr. Bev Spring as well as the community palliative care nurses for their excellent care these last months. Her funeral service will be held on Wednesday, July 8, at 1 p.m. at St. John’s Shaughnessy Church in Vancouver, BC. A private family interment service will be held at Valley View Cemetery in Agassiz, BC. In lieu of flowers, donatations can be made to Child of Mine (www.childofmine.ca) or World Vision (www.worldvision.ca). Rachel’s testimony can be found atwww.deathisnotdying.com
Rachel was born in London, Ontario and her life travels included years spent in Africa, growing up in Chilliwack (BC), university in London (ON) and working in Dallas (TX) before settling in Vancouver (BC). Rachel had a long career in politics and has many friends from her time working for the Conservative Party of Canada and the BC Liberal Party. A long list of career highlights do not compare to Rachel’s accomplishments as a loving wife, mother and servant of Jesus.
Rachel had a full and blessed life. She was a loving wife and mother who delighted in serving others, throwing parties, helping friends and spending days at the cabin with her family. She loved everyone selflessly and her passions were evident in everything she did. Rachel adored her children – Quinn and Kate were her greatest gifts. She will be greatly missed by her family, her friends and everyone whose life she has touched.
The family would like to extend a very special thanks to Dr. Will Johnston and Dr. Bev Spring as well as the community palliative care nurses for their excellent care these last months. Her funeral service will be held on Wednesday, July 8, at 1 p.m. at St. John’s Shaughnessy Church in Vancouver, BC. A private family interment service will be held at Valley View Cemetery in Agassiz, BC. In lieu of flowers, donatations can be made to Child of Mine (www.childofmine.ca) or World Vision (www.worldvision.ca). Rachel’s testimony can be found atwww.deathisnotdying.com
Friday, July 3, 2009
Last messages to each other; good friends for so long.
Dear Rachel,
I have always looked up to you Rachel. You have always been a
shining example to me of how to live, under all circumstances.I care
about you deeply and love you, my friend and sister in Christ. I
continue to learn so much from you and always feel so honoured to
know you.
Much Love,
Feather
dear Feather,
Just realized tonight
that next week Thursday will be my 5 year anniversary since my initial
diagnosis - 5 years! Wow. That went fast and slow as molasses all at
the same time. Not that 5 years is a magic number but it is a
milestone that the infamous They put out there.
The past few weeks I feel like I've turned a bit of a corner for the
worse. I plateaued a bit in April/May after my palliative care doc got
my medications under control and the radiation took effect in my back,
head and hips. But it's only for a time. They can only radiate so much
and I am having to up my pain meds significantly and with more
regularity. Maybe I'll get another little plateau but we'll see.
I pray for you when you come to mind as I'm sure it is a struggle for
you. In some ways I think this would be so much easier if the kids
weren't so affected, hey? That is the hardest part for me, for sure.
And for Neil. I don't want to be the source of pain and sadness for
them - but I am, sadly. Thankfully God is a god of comfort. And we
cling to that.
Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow.
Love you too, my friend.
with love,
rb
I have always looked up to you Rachel. You have always been a
shining example to me of how to live, under all circumstances.I care
about you deeply and love you, my friend and sister in Christ. I
continue to learn so much from you and always feel so honoured to
know you.
Much Love,
Feather
dear Feather,
Just realized tonight
that next week Thursday will be my 5 year anniversary since my initial
diagnosis - 5 years! Wow. That went fast and slow as molasses all at
the same time. Not that 5 years is a magic number but it is a
milestone that the infamous They put out there.
The past few weeks I feel like I've turned a bit of a corner for the
worse. I plateaued a bit in April/May after my palliative care doc got
my medications under control and the radiation took effect in my back,
head and hips. But it's only for a time. They can only radiate so much
and I am having to up my pain meds significantly and with more
regularity. Maybe I'll get another little plateau but we'll see.
I pray for you when you come to mind as I'm sure it is a struggle for
you. In some ways I think this would be so much easier if the kids
weren't so affected, hey? That is the hardest part for me, for sure.
And for Neil. I don't want to be the source of pain and sadness for
them - but I am, sadly. Thankfully God is a god of comfort. And we
cling to that.
Hope your appointment goes well tomorrow.
Love you too, my friend.
with love,
rb
Good-bye my friend.
July 2nd, Rachel(Sawer) Barkey passed away; she slipped away peacefully her father has said. I thought I would wait until the veil of tears ceased before I would write, but since it doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon, I thought I would write now. Since not very much is making sense to me now, as I mourn such a tradgic loss, I don't know that if what I now share will make much sense either.
I'm so torn and overwhelmed with emotions, I can hardly speak. The tightness in my chest makes it feel as though my heart is actually aching; perhaps it is.
I reflect on the emails she wrote to me, just three weeks ago and I can hardly believe she's actually gone. I'd just heard that she'd had to be tube fed this past week and that another tube had been inserted to help drain her liver. I knew with hearing this that she must be close to the end, but I don't think one can ever be fully prepared for the death of one so young, so loved, so loving, and so strong.
Rachel set an amazing example to me of how to live life, fight illness and even how to die. She was so much to so many people, God used her in mighty ways in her 37 short years. She lived her life time. Though we wish it was so much longer, selfishly and for the sake of her children and husband.
I know that a huge void will be felt in the lives of her family, the Sawers and the Barkeys.
In the pit of my sorrow I wonder why her and not me? And fear steps in and leaves me wondering if my turn is around the corner? I pray against it, knowing God has it all under control, even when it makes no sense to me. It really makes no sense to me, but I thank God for my faith, my faith that allows me to hand it all over to God who knows what he is doing; this gives me peace.
I know Rachel is experiencing peace. Where she is, everything makes complete sense to her now. She is in the presence of her Creator; who knew her before she was born and will be present with her for eternity. She has a new and perfect body, that can run faster and dance better than she ever could here. Here, she still had limitations, now she doe not. She is healed, she is free from suffering, she understands all the; WHYS?
I will cling to this as I continue on with my day and my life.
I'm so torn and overwhelmed with emotions, I can hardly speak. The tightness in my chest makes it feel as though my heart is actually aching; perhaps it is.
I reflect on the emails she wrote to me, just three weeks ago and I can hardly believe she's actually gone. I'd just heard that she'd had to be tube fed this past week and that another tube had been inserted to help drain her liver. I knew with hearing this that she must be close to the end, but I don't think one can ever be fully prepared for the death of one so young, so loved, so loving, and so strong.
Rachel set an amazing example to me of how to live life, fight illness and even how to die. She was so much to so many people, God used her in mighty ways in her 37 short years. She lived her life time. Though we wish it was so much longer, selfishly and for the sake of her children and husband.
I know that a huge void will be felt in the lives of her family, the Sawers and the Barkeys.
In the pit of my sorrow I wonder why her and not me? And fear steps in and leaves me wondering if my turn is around the corner? I pray against it, knowing God has it all under control, even when it makes no sense to me. It really makes no sense to me, but I thank God for my faith, my faith that allows me to hand it all over to God who knows what he is doing; this gives me peace.
I know Rachel is experiencing peace. Where she is, everything makes complete sense to her now. She is in the presence of her Creator; who knew her before she was born and will be present with her for eternity. She has a new and perfect body, that can run faster and dance better than she ever could here. Here, she still had limitations, now she doe not. She is healed, she is free from suffering, she understands all the; WHYS?
I will cling to this as I continue on with my day and my life.
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