I've been using the nebulizer at home 3-4 times a day for two weeks. I did go off of pednizone 12 days ago, but I've been on it again orally for 2 days. But it's not getting better. This often means a trip to the ER, IV prednisone, and something to help with he pain so I can sleep. It's 11:30am and I've only managed to sleep 2 and half hours, in the last 26 hours:( tired...and tired of being sick and tired.
Basically I feel like I've been sick for three years. Breast cancer diagnosis 3 years ago, all the treatment mastectomy, lymph node dissection, 6 months of harsh chemo, every infection possible, every test possible( including a spinal tap:( heart issues ( running out of potassium almost killed me, severe asthma issues for two years, several hospitalizations, shingles, oestio-arthritis from treatment, memory issues (which have gotten better over time) not only did chemo make all my hair fall out, my toe and finger nails did as well. Weight gain from the steroids used to help treat everything; 55 lb gained:( I got severe stomach ulcers that caused internal bleeding; now i have severe acid-reflux and will probably have to take medication for that daily for the rest of my life. Again every tests possible; many MRI's, not as many CT scans (to much radiation)
oh yeah and how could I forget, 28 radiation treatments and 12 months of IV herception treatments, which weakened my heart. I have laberthyntitis for 6 months; which is basically severe vertigo every day that caused me to vomit everyday for 6 months ( the only things that was good for was 45 lbs of weigh loss)I've had my brain scanned, my lungs, my bones, my liver, my uterous and ovaries, my colon (that was fun) and many mouth ulcers and oral thrust from treatment that went to my esophagus. I had injections daily in my stomach through chemo to keep up my white cell counts or else they were 1.1; they should be 7-12. any thing under 2 basically means you've lost your immune system.
Having said all that...I'M HAPPY TO BE ALIVE TO COMPLAIN:)!!!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Anxiously awaiting....
I keep waiting to feel better and just when I think I'm getting there, wellness escapes me. I've had to make the very hard decision to take more time off of work. In total I will probably end up being off for 6 weeks. I'm so thankful to my wonderful employers at the Abbotford abc restaurant, for being so supportive and understanding. My goal is to return to work on May 2nd; but I've got a long road of recovery ahead of me before that.
At times I feel very emotionally overwhelmed, that once again I find myself in poor health. I've been going through a grieving process of sorts, as I finally come to terms with the fact that I am not a healthy person; I may never be. for the first time in my life I really feel limited by my health. I now have to always be cautious of my environment and I can't plan to being as adventurous as I have been in the past. I do have a sinking feeling in my heart as I understand the whole weight of my circumstances.
It has been considered that my lung problems could be cancer related as in; worried that cancer has possibly spread to my lungs. My specialist will be reviewing my chest xrays and blood work to be more confident that this is not the reason for my problems. Women with my combination of issues (breast cancer that spread to lymph nodes and asthma) as 4X more likely to develop lungs mets(cancer spread to the lungs) than with breast cancer patients who don't have asthma. The encouraging part is that once asthma is controlled, my risk for lung mets becomes the same as any other breast cancer patients. For most of the last year my asthma has been under control, all but a few weeks a year ago and now.
April will be a busy time with Easter, Nose/sinus surgery April 15th, Chris's parent's arriving for a week visit and the girls birthday party on April 24th. Other than those things the only other thing I will be doing this month is recovering and resting. R and R is in the daytimer!!
Marching on,
feather
At times I feel very emotionally overwhelmed, that once again I find myself in poor health. I've been going through a grieving process of sorts, as I finally come to terms with the fact that I am not a healthy person; I may never be. for the first time in my life I really feel limited by my health. I now have to always be cautious of my environment and I can't plan to being as adventurous as I have been in the past. I do have a sinking feeling in my heart as I understand the whole weight of my circumstances.
It has been considered that my lung problems could be cancer related as in; worried that cancer has possibly spread to my lungs. My specialist will be reviewing my chest xrays and blood work to be more confident that this is not the reason for my problems. Women with my combination of issues (breast cancer that spread to lymph nodes and asthma) as 4X more likely to develop lungs mets(cancer spread to the lungs) than with breast cancer patients who don't have asthma. The encouraging part is that once asthma is controlled, my risk for lung mets becomes the same as any other breast cancer patients. For most of the last year my asthma has been under control, all but a few weeks a year ago and now.
April will be a busy time with Easter, Nose/sinus surgery April 15th, Chris's parent's arriving for a week visit and the girls birthday party on April 24th. Other than those things the only other thing I will be doing this month is recovering and resting. R and R is in the daytimer!!
Marching on,
feather
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Just breathe...
I am laying low and trying to catch my breath; literally. Asthma has had me down for at least a week of bed rest right now. About two weeks ago I noticed that my asthma was acting up. I increased my medications; allergy meds and inhalers, but it just kept getting worse. Due to the severe seasonal allergies and a cold/flu virus,(the girls had it but were only sick for a few days; with asthma the same cold takes over) even with the high doses of prednisone steroids I started using, I continued to get worse. Then when I took the girls to the opening ceremonies of the paralympic games; which was amazing; the smoke used for the light show, took my asthma over he edge and landed me in the hospital that night.I've reacted to this "concert-light smoke" before, but because of the other contributing factors, it was really bad this time.
Then with antibiodics, more steroids, and purchasing a nebulizer machine for home, I was hoping to stay out of the hospital.But with even doing everything right, I still couldn't get the asthma under control and ended up in the ER again. Adding more medications and bed rest has helped a little, but the Dr. (respiratory specialist) says it will take a while for my lungs to calm down. With only one trigger yesterday; freshly cut grass, I had another huge asthma attack.
Yesterday, After a day of appointments and tests at VGH,in the RAU (Respiratory Ambilitory Unit)I've been told I have severe asthma. This is now a life altering condition for me and one I will have to treat and be aware of everyday for the rest of my life (at the moment I feel very debilitated by it, but my specialist assures me that it will get under control in time and I will be able to breath normally again soon). I will be having more tests; pulmonary function tests April 9th and VGH; and seeing an asthma specialist in Vancouver May 26th.
Right now the main focus is to get me well enough so that I can have my scheduled nose/sinus surgery on April 15th. Due to years of allergies my sinuses are a mess and the situation is made much worse by the fact that I have a deviated septum.This condition causes sinus "drip" problems which greatly aggrivate my asthma. So by "breaking" my nose and re-setting it; my issues will lessen in the long run; though hurt terribly at the time:(
It appears that I have had asthma my whole life, without a diagnosis until last year. I don't have the traditional "wheeze" with my asthma, so it has been misdiagnosed and untreated for a long time. As a kid and youth the only way it showed up was when I exercised really hard, especially in the rain, I'd have a sore "burning" chest and cough until I ended up vomitting! Who knew?!? I just thought I needed to be in better shape.
In my very early 20's I had repeated long boughts with bronchitis and pnemonia; not realizing that the severity of my illnesses was due to asthma. (Also working in smoke filled restaurants certainly was the main culprit) Once I stopped jogging in the rain and working near smoke; I seemed "healthy"; but still had asthma, just was avoiding the main triggers without really realizing it.
Then I got cancer and all other health issues became secondary. In 1999, I had a year long battle with sinutitis and bronchitis and blamed the children I was working with, in daycare, for making me sick. When I did stop working with the kids, I did get better, but this all was related to my asthma as well. When asthmatics get regular cold/flus, which you get more contact with when you work with kids or have children, the viruses and infections are much harder to get rid of and are much harder on the person. I just thought I was a real wimp when I got sick; because i'd get so sick and I thought if I'd "just take better care" of myself, I wouldn't get so sick. All the while I had asthma, which now explains so much!
It was then I was told the first time that I should have my nose/sinuses operated on about 12 years ago. I was also told I should have my tonsils out, which is on my surgery "to-do" list for later this year.
Not until I was done cancer treatment 18 months ago did an oncologist figure out that I had really bad asthma; it was now worse than ever due to many factors; including my lung being damaged by radiation therapy and chemo has caused severe chronic acid-reflux; which makes asthma much worse.
It seems now we will finally be getting to bottom of it and I should be feeling much better soon. For now, my lungs are having trouble getting me enough oxygen to keep me awake and alert. I'm on the nebulizer machine several times a day and it could be weeks before I can function normally again. But I am holding out hope that with lots of rest, the right meds and the TLC I'm getting from my dear husband, I should be much better in a week or so.
Catching my breath again,
Feather ·
Then with antibiodics, more steroids, and purchasing a nebulizer machine for home, I was hoping to stay out of the hospital.But with even doing everything right, I still couldn't get the asthma under control and ended up in the ER again. Adding more medications and bed rest has helped a little, but the Dr. (respiratory specialist) says it will take a while for my lungs to calm down. With only one trigger yesterday; freshly cut grass, I had another huge asthma attack.
Yesterday, After a day of appointments and tests at VGH,in the RAU (Respiratory Ambilitory Unit)I've been told I have severe asthma. This is now a life altering condition for me and one I will have to treat and be aware of everyday for the rest of my life (at the moment I feel very debilitated by it, but my specialist assures me that it will get under control in time and I will be able to breath normally again soon). I will be having more tests; pulmonary function tests April 9th and VGH; and seeing an asthma specialist in Vancouver May 26th.
Right now the main focus is to get me well enough so that I can have my scheduled nose/sinus surgery on April 15th. Due to years of allergies my sinuses are a mess and the situation is made much worse by the fact that I have a deviated septum.This condition causes sinus "drip" problems which greatly aggrivate my asthma. So by "breaking" my nose and re-setting it; my issues will lessen in the long run; though hurt terribly at the time:(
It appears that I have had asthma my whole life, without a diagnosis until last year. I don't have the traditional "wheeze" with my asthma, so it has been misdiagnosed and untreated for a long time. As a kid and youth the only way it showed up was when I exercised really hard, especially in the rain, I'd have a sore "burning" chest and cough until I ended up vomitting! Who knew?!? I just thought I needed to be in better shape.
In my very early 20's I had repeated long boughts with bronchitis and pnemonia; not realizing that the severity of my illnesses was due to asthma. (Also working in smoke filled restaurants certainly was the main culprit) Once I stopped jogging in the rain and working near smoke; I seemed "healthy"; but still had asthma, just was avoiding the main triggers without really realizing it.
Then I got cancer and all other health issues became secondary. In 1999, I had a year long battle with sinutitis and bronchitis and blamed the children I was working with, in daycare, for making me sick. When I did stop working with the kids, I did get better, but this all was related to my asthma as well. When asthmatics get regular cold/flus, which you get more contact with when you work with kids or have children, the viruses and infections are much harder to get rid of and are much harder on the person. I just thought I was a real wimp when I got sick; because i'd get so sick and I thought if I'd "just take better care" of myself, I wouldn't get so sick. All the while I had asthma, which now explains so much!
It was then I was told the first time that I should have my nose/sinuses operated on about 12 years ago. I was also told I should have my tonsils out, which is on my surgery "to-do" list for later this year.
Not until I was done cancer treatment 18 months ago did an oncologist figure out that I had really bad asthma; it was now worse than ever due to many factors; including my lung being damaged by radiation therapy and chemo has caused severe chronic acid-reflux; which makes asthma much worse.
It seems now we will finally be getting to bottom of it and I should be feeling much better soon. For now, my lungs are having trouble getting me enough oxygen to keep me awake and alert. I'm on the nebulizer machine several times a day and it could be weeks before I can function normally again. But I am holding out hope that with lots of rest, the right meds and the TLC I'm getting from my dear husband, I should be much better in a week or so.
Catching my breath again,
Feather ·
Friday, March 19, 2010
Verse for the new spring season!!
"Strength! Courage! Don't be timid; don't get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take." Joshua 1:9 The Message
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Trying to make sense?!?
"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit. "No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way." ~Winnie the Pooh
Along the way to a full recovery I have be derailed by a severe bought of bronchitis; only to be complicated by nasty allergies and bad asthma:( I hope to be on track again soon.
Along the way to a full recovery I have be derailed by a severe bought of bronchitis; only to be complicated by nasty allergies and bad asthma:( I hope to be on track again soon.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
15 years
Today has been fifteen years since I heard the words for the first time, "You have cancer".
In 6 days it will be 3 years since I heard for the second time,"You have breast cancer."
It's a memorable, meaningfull and thought provoking time for me.
ON friday my oncologist at the cancer agency tolod me that I am doing so well, I don't have to go back again for 6 months!!:)I have been feeling great!! And I'm able to work 4-5 shifts a week at abc restaurant, which is very hard physical work.Now
Now That I'm well, it's time for the sugery's that I'd put off 3 years ago; deviated septum, tonsils removed and severe vericous veins in my leg. Plus the right breast reconstruction that has to be re-done.
My allergies and asthma has been acting up, but it's nothing I can't handle.
I have my sinus surgery on April 15th. I have to have my nose and sinuses re-set and cleared to. I'll probably end up with eyes for a few days.
Life is good,
Feather
In 6 days it will be 3 years since I heard for the second time,"You have breast cancer."
It's a memorable, meaningfull and thought provoking time for me.
ON friday my oncologist at the cancer agency tolod me that I am doing so well, I don't have to go back again for 6 months!!:)I have been feeling great!! And I'm able to work 4-5 shifts a week at abc restaurant, which is very hard physical work.Now
Now That I'm well, it's time for the sugery's that I'd put off 3 years ago; deviated septum, tonsils removed and severe vericous veins in my leg. Plus the right breast reconstruction that has to be re-done.
My allergies and asthma has been acting up, but it's nothing I can't handle.
I have my sinus surgery on April 15th. I have to have my nose and sinuses re-set and cleared to. I'll probably end up with eyes for a few days.
Life is good,
Feather
Monday, March 1, 2010
Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics
The golden winter Olympics have certainly been the highlight of our home over the last 16 days. We will miss all the excitement,patriotic pride, outings to the events, maple leaf 'tattoos", and watching our athletes bring home the most gold in history! We are sad to see the 'world' go home:( This has been a party of a life time that will forever be celebrated!
We are looking forward to taking in as much of the para-olympic games in two weeks.
We certainly finished on a high note:) the following poem, written by my "unreal" Dad, Gary wagner, states it well:)
olympic sonnet
canada beats the usa
with sid the kid in overtime:
hockey remains our game today.
the losers pout and whine while i’m
properly proudly patriotic.
on robson street the church bells chime,
and fans gaily idiotic
high-five others to them unknown.
the anthem sounded so melodic
as above the rink our flag was flown.
jerome assisted on the play
that made the game again our own.
with lou in goal what’s else to say?
canada beat the usa!
wag
february two eight twenty ten
We are looking forward to taking in as much of the para-olympic games in two weeks.
We certainly finished on a high note:) the following poem, written by my "unreal" Dad, Gary wagner, states it well:)
olympic sonnet
canada beats the usa
with sid the kid in overtime:
hockey remains our game today.
the losers pout and whine while i’m
properly proudly patriotic.
on robson street the church bells chime,
and fans gaily idiotic
high-five others to them unknown.
the anthem sounded so melodic
as above the rink our flag was flown.
jerome assisted on the play
that made the game again our own.
with lou in goal what’s else to say?
canada beat the usa!
wag
february two eight twenty ten
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