"Celebrating You!"

A “toast” to a Dear Friend.

My world was rocked this week, in a hard and cruel direction, when I received word that a life long, dear friend had received a devastating diagnosis of breast cancer returning. The vengeful disease has spread to her liver and bones; she was initially treated aggressively four and half years ago.
I write this “toast” to her today, on this her 37th birthday. I want to give tribute to her on this day for the life that she lives so well. Every step of the way she keeps her eye on the prize that God has set before her and takes each day in stride. I have seen this for almost 30 years, from that fist day I saw her confidently enter our Sunday school room, at Sardis Community Church . We were 8 years old and could have passed as sisters; for which we were often mistaken as through the years ( a mistake I found so flattering time and time again) She greeted me that first day with a beaming, welcoming smile and I knew that instant, my life would be richer if I could call her my friend.

I was in awe of her every Sunday as she recited her memory verses perfectly and knew the answer to every question; I wanted to be just like her. I was so excited when I was invited for that first visit to her home. Her family had fairly recently returned from the Mission field in Africa , and were house-sitting until they were settled. I was fascinated by this little girl who looked so much like me; our birthdays were even only three weeks apart, in yet our lives had been so different. We’d lived on separate continents and grown-up in different worlds until then. I remember thinking that we were so similar in yet so uniquely different.
Her father was a Doctor, a missionary doctor, and my Daddy’s were hippies. Her name was biblical and mine was of the “air”. My brothers and I got names representing the “earth” (Forrest), “water” (D.E.W. “Daniel”) and “air” (Feather), I was a “good” flower child and she was a good MK. I remember she’d often nudge me out for top prize in Sunday school class memory verse competition and usually win the bible trivia games. She set the bar high, rose to the occasion and challenged the rest of us, including me to work harder and always do our best. It was healthy competition and though she usually came in first; even as little girls she was the first one to give a word of encouragement and praise for our efforts. I remember once trying out for a solo in children’s choir, she got the one I wanted and she did it so well, it made me sing my heart out when it was my turn. She could sing, act, do gymnastics, play sports and get straight A’s in school, all the while being a friend to everyone, lighting up the room where ever she went and drawing everyone close to her.
She is a natural born leader and friend. She is so attractive to everyone, I don’t think there was a single boy in our youth group that didn’t have a crush on her at one time or another! Her beauty always shone inside and out and was never missed.
When I was 9 years old I was baptized. She let me borrow her Dad on this special day and after I shared my testimony he prayed the prayer of dedication for me. By this time visiting her home was a regular activity for me and I enjoyed many of them as well as many special occasions and birthdays.
As a young teen,13, I considered going to MEI just so I could spend more time with her. I decided in the end to attend Sardis which was obviously where God intended for me to go.
We stayed close over the years of high school through youth group, Sunday school, church activities, family camp and church dramas. When I’d see her play basket ball in high school, I was glad I never had to play against her! She dominated the game, played hard, and showed the rest of us how to be the best team player, the MVP and be devoted to her personal best. She exemplified dedication, discipline and focus; while being full of school spirit, appreciation for her opponents and love for the game. When I saw her play I was sure proud to call her my friend, even if it meant getting a sweaty hug! After high school we didn’t see as much of each other, but when we did it was always like no time had passed and we’d pick up where we’d left off.
By God’s wonderfully guided hand she moved across the hall from me in my apartment, in 1994-95. During which time we were 23 and I was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time. She rallied around me as any loving caring friend would, and it was so great to have someone who’d known me most of my life live so close by during such a difficult time in my life. We attended a retreat together at Camp Malibu, up the BC Coast at Jervis inlet, where we connected again and shared talks on a deeply spiritual and emotional level. These talks set a foundation of incredible personal growth, maturity and development in me. She encouraged me in ways only she could have and she gave me compliments that have always stuck by me and meant so much to me all these year’s because they came from her. She told me that weekend that I had amazing eyes, ever since then I’ve really loved my eyes. She helped me to see things in a way I’d never seen them before. Her heart felt honesty and openness moved me, changed me and inspired me. From that point on in my life my heart changed and I became much more open, honest and real person, because of the wonderful example she’d been to me.

That summer I met a guy, who I thought rather cute, but once I introduced him to her, it was over for me. But that was okay, he was a very lucky guy. Later that summer in Ontario I met her husband to be, that she didn’t even know yet; I was impressed. (She went to the same high school as my husband, what a small world!) In 1998 we ended up in premarital counseling together at Northview church in Abbotsford. We ended up getting married a few weeks apart and we’d “complained” to each other a year and a half or so before, in the foyer of our childhood church, that we were still single. God knew He had the right men in mind for us!
In late June of 2004 she called me to let me know she’d been diagnosed with breast cancer. I was shocked and saddened; as this was something I’d been through and would have never wished for anyone, especially for someone I’d loved and cared for. I was happy that she felt she could call me and reach out to me in her time of need but saddened by the circumstances. I only hoped and prayed the best for her always. My heart ached as she shared her painful journey through her cancer treatment. I always appreciated her calls, notes, cards and emails. I was especially glad when her communications turned out well and she’d recovered from treatment and returned to “normal” living with her husband and two young children.
Little did we know that only a few years later I’d find myself in almost the same situation; two young children, a diagnosis of breast cancer and many months of cancer treatment and an uncertain future. She was one of the first people I called, and I believe my message said something like, “This is like a sick version of Tag, but I guess I’m it.” She called me back and we had many heart to heart talks over that year plus. She allowed me to discuss the tough questions with her, that I felt I couldn’t really discuss with any one else. She allowed me to cry when needed, she answered my questions openly and bluntly and enabled me to stumble upon many of my own answers. Her calm, familiar voice reassured me of God’s perfect plan for my life and of the childlike faith I needed to embrace once again. She was the friend I needed and always had in her. Today I thank her again for being there for me, and taking the time to revisit some of her painful thoughts and memories for me. She enriched my soul and gave me hope. She caused me to focus again on our Heavenly Father and to bask in His glory; to be grateful for the life He has given so freely to us and the promises that we can cling to in living this life and facing our death.
Even now as her reality is my greatest nightmare, she reminds me that He is faithful. That He knew us in our mother’s womb and has never forsaken us. That His will, will be done on earth and that He will take us to Heaven. She finds peace in knowing God has prepared a place for her that she will be sooner than we’d all like, but she knows she serves a God who is good...all the time.
At this time we plead with God to keep her here as long as possible. We pray comfort for her family and all those that love her. We pray especially for her husband, son and daughter who God has given to her as her family.
It is the longing of my heart that my life will continue to be touched, inspired, molded, challenged and changed by this amazing friend and woman of God. Thank-you my dear friend for a life lived so well, even in the face of your current reality. Thank-you for your courageous, beautiful, thoughtful, caring and giving spirit; thank-you for being my friend.


Things that I have learnt from this friend:
1. That Methuselah was the oldest living man, and mentioned in the Bible.
2. Where Botswana was, beside South Africa.
3. That bald is still beautiful.
4. That women are so much more than our breasts.
5. When you communicate with someone, look through their eyes to their soul.
6. Trust God in all things.
7. Always put your best foot forward.
8. Its okay to get a second and third opinion from a medical professional.
9. If you eat slowly, you won’t be as hungry in 20 minutes and you’ll eat less.
10. VW’s provide the “coolest” ride! Especially red bugs!
11. Realness is a gift you can offer others.
12. Perfection is not a gift, but something we can overcome.(None of us are perfect)
13. Sing your heart out.
14. Play hard! Work hard!
15. Love harder and forgive.
16. Great men will be eventually found; after some good men and some not so good men
17. That I have beautiful eyes.
18. That I’m never alone.
19. That friends can grow apart and still be close.
20. That dreams can come true even if you wake before they are over.