I saw my oncologist on the 18th of Dec. Very quickly she has arranged at full body bone scan for me, to hopefully rule out any possibility of bones mets (the breast cancer spreading to my bones). I have been having a fair amount of discomfort in certain bones areas and she wants to be sure this is not a cancer problem, hopefully just at arthritic one:)

I should get the results just in time for my birthday,January 3rd. I've been considering going away for a few days for my birthday, I'll be 38 and I found a crazy cheap trip to Vegas leaving the night of my birthday:)Perhaps we'll see?!?! Since having cancer I have become much more spontaneous:)IT really can be so much fun!!

Hope you all have a wonderful recovery week after the crazy holiday schedule!! Just in time to go crazy for New year. Happy New Year 2010!!

My verse for the ending of 2009 and the start of 2010

Isaiah 57:10 "You were tired out by the length of your road, yet you did not say, 'It is hopeless.' You found renewed strength, therefore you did not faint."

Christmas Caroling.

I have organized a spontaneous Christmas Carol sing for tomorrow, Christmas Eve,at the main entrance of Abbotsford Regional Hospital from 2-3pm. If you can join us that would be great:) Our girls are so looking forward to and I've managed to print off some song sheets. Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Olympic spirit is finally here:)

We were so excited for so long about having the Winter Olympics 2010 coming!! Then we tried to get tickets to events:( Not so excited anymore:( My dream of being able to watch Olympic figure skating when right out the window (so much for crossing that off my "bucket list") The cheapest ticket we could find was $400 for one ticket!! Can't afford that. So I figure I'll be cheering from my couch, not quite what I was hoping for.So up until today, these games had left a bad taste in my mouth...

But now an opportunity and $$ have changed my mind:)!! Chris has been given the opportunity to write and record the Olympic theme song for the City of Richmond, which will be used at the Richmond Oval; site of many Winter Olympic events 2010!! YEAH!! This opportunity has already opened more doors of ways his talents will be used during this world stage event. Only God knows what other opportunities could come from this:)

Now the taste in my mouth is SWEET!!

Help me decorate the ARH hospital Christmas tree:)

I have gotten permission to decorate the large Evergreen tree outside the Abbotsford Hospital main entrance! It has a few white lights and that's it:( I'm going to add some Christmas cheer to it Saturday Dec. 19th at 11am-Noon; if you'd like to join me. (I'm working on a red,white and gold theme, but any non-breakable decorations would be welcome)

I was thinking that if you'd like to add a candy cane or two at anytime between now and Christmas; that would be great! I figure the candy canes can be handed out to patients who are there over Christmas. I think it's a good lesson for my children to think outside their box over the holidays.

I was at the hospital today having blood work done for my appointment with my oncologist tomorrow; when I saw this beautiful big Evergreen sponsored by Pharmasave, but with no decorations, at the main entrance to ARH. I thought, "Why has someone not decorated that tree?" and then I remembered one of my life mottos:) "I am someone!!"

It took connecting with 3 people today, but I got permission:) "They" are not allowed to decorate the tree but if someone volunteers to do it on their own, they won't stop them:)SO if you'd like to help me make it happen, let me know, or just show up!

Remember those that are in the hospital over Christmas or that have a loved one there. I remember back two years ago when I had to go for Radiation treatment over the holiday and even on Christmas eve. Since there is a cancer agency there, there will be many patients going for Chemo and radiation over the holiday.

I know some people there will be celebrating as they welcome a new family member during this time; perhaps they could add a pink or blue decoration:) I think I'll be adding a few pink ribbons, for Breast cancer awareness.
Mostly I'll be adding red, white and gold, I figured with the olympics around the corner it would be fitting:)

Remember if you bring a decoration you won't get it back; it has to be unbreakable, able to be well fastened to the tree (to weather wind) and it could even be stolen:(

I spent time in the hospital this last spring which was only one of many hospital stays I have had over the last two and half years. I noticed today that there is a women still there from when I was there in spring. I think of her and others who will be in the hospital over Christmas, especially those who could be facing their last Christmas. I was in the hospital for Easter two years ago, and I can't imagine having to be there for Christmas:(

I figure a colorful tree will help to lift the spirits of those patients (many go out for fresh air when they can; or for a smoke), their loved ones who are coming and going and for the staff who work so hard over the holiday season.

We have already received so much this holiday season, this is something small we can do to share:)

What can you do this Christmas season to brighten the spirits of someone around you?!?

Basically all good?!

So it appears that my situation is caused from re-occuring cysts that have been giving me trouble.These ovarian cysts are probably due to the fact that chemo caused my ovaries to shut down (Chemically induced menopause)and then they fired up again; but not as well as they once were. So this is basically just another chemo side effect really bothering me, two years after completing chemo. I'm happy that it looks like a "normal" situation and not "cancer" related. Though the condition is often uncomfortable and sometimes terribly painful, it's great to know that it's not life threatening.
Having said that, there are other issues that will be looked into more with further tests. The bottom line is that in the last 8 weeks I have not felt well. There were many weeks and months I felt so much better in the last year and a half; I'd just like to feel that good again. I understand that after all that my body has been through I will probably never feel as good as I once did before all this happened (playing soccer and working two jobs with two little kids) I just want to feel as good as I did a year ago, or this past summer.
I meet with my oncologist on Friday and I'm quite certain that she will also order some tests. I'm now awaiting a colonoscepy and what ever else my Dr. says needs checking out. I'm concerned about my right shoulder, is has been hurting since summer, I thought I pulled something but it aches terribly more and more. Since my bones are one of the most likely places for my cancer to spread, I am concerned. My tail-bone has also really been bothering me the last month. If you could pray specifically for these areas I'd really appreciate it.
Over all I'm having issues with feeling lightheaded and even faint feeling a few times a day. I get waves of nausea a few times a day as well.Sometimes I get a feeling like I have a stitch in my right side, so I'm a little concerned about my liver. It is my prayer that my Dr. takes my concerns and orders tests to check my shoulder, tail-bone and liver.Of course the prayer is that there is no cancer in these areas, but I'd also appreciate finding out what's causing me to feel so unwell.

Otherwise I'm trying to be as busy with the Christmas season as possible and doing everything I can to enjoy every minute of it:)

I've posted updated pics of my family on Facebook. If you are not my facebook friend yet please request me as your friend:)

Prayer Request updates: to the left

PRAYER REQUESTS: When I was first diagnosed with my second cancer, my oncologist suggested that I have genetic testing to see if I have a particular gene that causes many different and frequent cancers in young people. She feared I might have this as the two kinds I've already had are two of the kinds often found with this gene. I'd decided I didn't want to know if I had the gene at this time. I may be changing my mind about this soon, as it will probably enable me to get MRI's and PET scans that wouldn't otherwise be available to me. This is something that requires much thought and prayer, because if I tested positive, then this would effect the girls in their future and their abililty to get life insurance etc. Plus then facing the fact that they also might have the gene. It's not an easy decision, I know what it's like to live with a possible cancer diagnosis hanging over your head, I wouldn't want this for my girls.
Edit Delete ↑ ↓

Off WORK/ financial stress: I have been off of work since October 6th, due to undiagnosed symptoms of extreme fatigue; lightheadedness, dizziness and generally feeling really weak. I was first tested for a brain tumor, which is the most likely area for my cancer to return, but thankfully my brain was free from tumors:)
Edit Delete ↑ ↓

More Tests were done and On October 28th a little something showed up near my uterus that would need to be followed up by further testing. Dec. 7th i had an ultrasound that has now marked this "growth" as suspicious:( It is in an area behind the right side of my uterus. I've found out that this area is called the pouch in women. An area that many tumors grow and can grow very big before discovered. Thankfully mine is not that big yet.
Edit Delete ↑ ↓

Though the ultrasound Tech is not able to tell me anything; they are able to communicate a lot by what they don't tell you. Like really aggressive tumors usually show a much greater vascularity (blood supply) than the amount seen around mine, shown with doplar ultrasound. Sometimes Dormid Cysts show up this way. They are a form of a tumor that can become cancerous. I will be awaiting more tests and probably a surgical biopsy in the near future to find out exactly what this mass is.
Edit Delete ↑ ↓

Overall I've been feeling quite a bit better since the start of Dec. This seems to be due to the fact that it appears I had a cyst on my left ovary that was making me feel terribly for weeks, but didn't show up on Dec. 7th ultrasounds. These kinds of cysts often clear up on their own. I'm grateful for more energy and being able to prepare for the holiday season. Merry Christmas and Happy New year 2010:)!!
Edit Delete ↑ ↓

Reconstruction: My sugery to have my "wrecked" right reconstructive implant replaced will be sometime in summer 2010. My sugery got set way back due to some medical system cut backs. I'm on a cancellation list, so it could be a little sooner. It's certainly not my main concern right now; though very uncomfortable and I'll be pleased when I can have it taken care of. The pain of it still effects my daily life, as it I get a shooting pain from it through my chest to my back, every time i bend over and stand right back up. And it continues to get smaller and smaller as it buckles in on it's self.
Edit Delete ↑ ↓

Living with the consent reminder that the cancer could return at anytime is a overwhelming place to be much of the time, especially for Chris and Especially when I'm not feeling as well as I have in the past year. I trust God with my whole life in all things.
Save
Cancel
Remove

The newest member of our family, a one year old Jack Chi, her name is Lilah Janz.

It's official we have adopted a dog, her name is Lilah and she is a one year old Jack-Chi. Basically she looks like a blond Jack Russell Terrier with a curled up tail; she's adorable! On Saturday I headed to Petsmart to buy a new collar for the neighbor's cat,Cleo...when a little blond pup caught my eye. She tilted her head to one side, looked right at me, and stole my heart. With her one bent over ear and a darker blond butt with a wagging tail she knew she was ours before we even knew it.
The girls took her for a walk around the store while I started the "manipulative" calls,text and phone pics to Chris.

It didn't take much:) He's always wanted a dog, but something perhaps a little more masculine:) Within half an hour he was there meeting her, falling for her and trying to calm the ever so excited two little girls of ours, after he told them we could adopt "Delilah". I don't know who was more excited the girls, us or the dog who'd been rescued in California and now was going to join our family:)

We bought "things" she would need, like food, collar, leash, treats (of course) and pink jackets for her trips and walks outside (she's about 10 lbs) and a toy or two. The girls wrapped most of the things for her Christmas presents. They wanted to do something to prepare for the dog arriving. We had to fill out much adoption paper work, many questions and prepare for a home inspection today. At 5:15 today Delilah, which we've decided to shorten to Lilah, got to come home! We'd already been missing her and were so excited to finally have her here.

Saturday night, as Carmelle, was just tucked into bed, she said, "Mommy, I have tears in my eyes as I think about our Dog. I'm so happy I feel like I might cry." Well that made our hearts melt and confirmed we'd certainly made the right decision; no doubts here! About 2 hours after Lilah arrived, and Carmelle was in the middle of having so much fun playing with her, she said, "I have my own dog!??!!!! If this was a dream..it would be the most wonderful dream EVER!!" WE couldn't be happier with Lilah.
She's got the best little personality, playful and cuddly, patient and quite, content and curious:) She's also potty trained and leash trained, which is a huge added bonus:) She's got us all wrapped around her paw:)

We put her bed in the girls room and put them all to bed together. Awhile later I peeked in to check on them all. I couldn't see Lilah at first and then I saw her, under Cadence! All I could see was her little head and her big eyes peeking out at me. She was peaceful and content, but squished. I moved her but not until Chris could come and see our perfect dog with our perfect girls:) It's just perfect!

Now I know why we didn't get a dog sooner, we were waiting for Lilah and we didn't even know it:)

A quote from Maureen Trainor, I believe...

'May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have receLved, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Quote for today.

"I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else" ~C.S. Lewis~