I haven't written anything in about two weeks and tomorrow I start chemo, so I thought I should do an update before I'm down for a week or so. I haven't any idea what to expect from chemo really. They can try and prepare you for all the senerios but they really don't know what your body is going to do and how you will react, eveyone's jouney is personal. The one thing that has remained consistant with everyone that I speak with is that the first chemo treatment is the hardest. My biggest fear is the neausea, there's something so dibilitating about feeling sick to your stomach. I'm also concerned about my children not understanding why I'm in my room but they can't be with me. Please pray for these things.
Today I had my portacath put in, it's a minor surgical procedure that they freeze the localized area for, but nothing else, I was perfectly awake for the whole thing. From what I could tell I as the first patient for the new Dr. who was just out of training, he looked younger than me and all the nurses were meeting him for the first time, I'm not sure if that made me feel calmer or more unsettled, I decided because he was new he'd ty even harder to do a really good job:) The procedure was a little more invasive than I've first thought and really started to hurt when the freezing came out, regular tylenol wasn't quite doing the job like they said it would. Thankfully I had some T3's left over form my mastectomy and I had them with me. I'm quite concerned with how much this will hurt over the next few days, with chemo starting at the same time. The thought of this pain in my chest and neck while vomitting, scares me. I shared this with my oncologist and she got me some other forms of pain management other than oral that should work. Dr. Ho always listens to my concerns and makes me feel very well cared for, I feel much more prepared for what's ahead when I speak with her.
Chris and I are staying at a hotel tonight, trying to have a nice evening out before chemo tomorrow, which is in Vancouver as well. All of my chemo treatments and oncologists are at Vancouver Cancer Clinic. I choose to do everything in Vancouver rather than Surrey, since all of my personal connections were here from my first cancer experience. I'm writting to you now from our hotel room on our laptop at the Best Western, I've been getting half price at Best Western's because I'm still considered a staff member of abc restaurant, we got a very nice suite here.
For fun I decided to dye my hair a pink/red/purple color, I figure I'd only do it now, before it all falls out. I also cut it super short, kind like an army/pixie cut. I've been having funwith my hair theis is like the fifth style I've had in six weeks, since I cut it all off.
Yesterday I treated myself to a spa treatment, Chris had gotten me a gift certificate for Mother's Day. I went to the Wild Orange Spa in Abbotsford, my favourite, I always go early so I can enjoy the steam room and the lounge where there's tea and snacks, TV and good magazines. I always seem to run into someone and get to make a social engagment of it as well. This time I met a woman who'd never met before but I felt compelled to speak with. Her hair looked like it was regrowth after chemo and I really felt led to start up a conversation with her. I was right, she had chemo this last year for breast cancer. As we spoke I felt more and more blessed by our encounter, she to was on the drug Herceptin like I was going to be and she'd had the same course of chemo therapy drugs as I'm going to be getting. I'd not yet been able to meet someone who I'd had so much in common with, she also had a portacath in and she showed me, I'd never seen one and I was happy to be able to see what one looked like before I got mine the next day.
In the middle of my conversation she all of a sudden asked me, "Are you Feather Janz?!?!" I said "Yes", I was surprised. She didn't recognize me with my short hair and no make-up, she'd only seen my picture in the newspaper. She was excited to meet me as she said it was due to my story in the paper that she'd been inspired to and decided to under go the mastectomy over a lumpectomy. Here she'd just been inspiring me and now I found out that I'd inspired her with out even knowing. The whole experience was very uplifting for me, it was a spiritual experience that I believe God ordained to bless me and make me feel cared for, that He is in control of my entire journey, from the beginning to the end. HE even orchestrats the people who move in, out and around my life. This kind woman was with her Mother, my mother told me that she'd been to Grandpa Leo's Funeral last year, she'd known Chris's Grandpa as a young woman and her family had billeted the Janz Quartet many times. She felt very connected to the Janz Family and remembered seeing me at the funeral last summer. I felt very emotional and very moved by this meeting, I felt peace knowing that I don't have to be in control and that everything is going to turn out just as God has planned and HE always has our best interest at hand. This lady gave me her anme, phone number and email and encouraged me to keep in touch with her. Thank-you to those of you who took special time praying and fasting yesterday, I sure felt your prayers especially in that special moment. What a gift. God gives great gifts and It's such a blessing to receive them and to recognize them for what they are.
My infection clearer up well about two weeks ago, and stayed away once the antibiodics wre done a week ago. The wound was still very large, about 1 and a half inches by 4 and a half inches, open and raw so you could see the muscle. But it is about half closed up now and lookign much better. It will be about 2-3 weeks before it's completely closed.
We had a wonderful week with Chris's parent's out from London, England. The girls were so happy to spend time with their Grandparent's. Cadence decided it would be a good time to have four teeth come in, including her eye teeth, and thankfully that's when we were going away for two nights and leaving the kids with Grandma and Grandpa. Perfect timing Cadence, pay ya later. :)
Chris and I were blessed with a beautiful weekend in Vancouver, organized by the Manager of the Best Western (Thank-you MEBS!). We got to stay in a suite at the Pacific Palisades Hotel on the 22nd floor and got to have an amazing five course dinner at a 5 star restaurant, The Rain City Grill on English Bay. We were able to relax and unwind and enjoy each others company, a much needed get away for us. We were so grateful for such a wonderful gift!
Arbonne - I'm starting a new home based business called Arbonne, with Swiss formulated natural products, this is a way I'm hoping I can generate an income while laid up. Please look at my website and if you feel led please sign up and buy some products, it would really help us out. Thanks. www.featherjanz.myarbonne.com
Run for the Cure - I'm also still raising money for the Run for the Cure, if you'd like to make a donation in my honour, you can on-line at: www.cibcrunforthecure.com Click on Donate to a participant and put my name and Abbotsford as the run location. I've raised just shy of $3,000 so far!! My goal is $12,000 since it's been 12 years since my first diagnosis.
Thank-you for your on going support and encouragement it means so mcuh to me and my family.
God Bless,
Feather
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