It feels so good to be preparing to go back to work tonight.I've been off since March 1st on sick leave, and the last two weeks I've felt so much better, I almost feel as good as new. Since I thank God that "I'll never be the same again", then I'm not returning to normal, but that's okay, I figure this is better.
I'll be working 2 shifts a week to start, the extra money, social life, excercise and getting out will be good for me.I've been able to exercise regularily for three weeks, the first time in over 2 years that my body has allowed me the opporunity to set new challenges physically and actually meet them.
With the much better weather I've been able to get out on walks, by myself but mostly with the girls. Pushing them in the large bike stroller adds an extra work out effort. I've been at Curves gym 3-4 times an week and using my Tony Little Gazelle (it actually works) the best part is seeing Chris on it, he looks MUCH better than Tony Little and he's back to the weight he was when we got married!!I've got a long way to go before I ever get there! MY goals are much more realistic after 2 kids (C-sections) and a full cancer run. The steriods toped up where the pregnancies left off:)
All is well, we are more than ready for an unadventful time; the more boring the better really. WE are happy to be dull for awhile, with nothing to report:)
A lazy, easy going summer with no real plans sounds good to me (except for surgery in July of course, which will hopfully be plain and simple:)
Happy summer everyone!!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Poetic attempt
All at once I knew
Life was brand new.
All that I had been thru
Was now in the rear view.
With open road ahead
and rest when I lay my head,
My heart and soul are on the mend,
pain and sorrow are all but dead.
Future adventures call to me;
by name they set me free.
Freedom to dream and not to flee
as I praise on bended knee.
A new joy has awakened my soul,
I know darkness will not take me whole.
From above, light reaches down like a rescue pole;
heartache will no longer take it's toll.
I step, one foot in front of the other,
I thank God that I am a mother;
that my husband says,"There is no other."
and that it is all in the hands of my Heavenly Father.
Life was brand new.
All that I had been thru
Was now in the rear view.
With open road ahead
and rest when I lay my head,
My heart and soul are on the mend,
pain and sorrow are all but dead.
Future adventures call to me;
by name they set me free.
Freedom to dream and not to flee
as I praise on bended knee.
A new joy has awakened my soul,
I know darkness will not take me whole.
From above, light reaches down like a rescue pole;
heartache will no longer take it's toll.
I step, one foot in front of the other,
I thank God that I am a mother;
that my husband says,"There is no other."
and that it is all in the hands of my Heavenly Father.
MRI test
I had an MRI of my back today. I'm feeling so good this last week I'm confident that there is nothing to be found; though my prayer was that if there was something to be found that God would give the Doctors the wisdom to find i t.The tests seemed to go fine but I won't know any results for up to two weeks.
An MRI of the spine is quite uncomfortable. I was in the tube like machine, very close to your face and fairly squishy for the body, for about 1 hour and 15 minutes, yuck! My back was so sore when I was done, I was glad I was getting the test done. My back hurts the most during the night when I've been laying still. I had to have a contrast IV injection, they always leave me feeling off and gross the rest of the day.
The purpose of the test is to see if my breast cancer has spread to my spine (bones), this would be metastises of my breast cancer, which is refered to as mets. So they are looking for breast cancer mets, but I've been feeling so good this last week I've been very encouraged. I've been able to exercise every day and I'm going to be returning to work at abc restaurant next week.
Now that I'm feeling more normal, in fact the best I've felt in almost 3 years, the future seems so much brighter again. Thank-you again for everyone's prayers; new prayer requests have been posted on the left.
An MRI of the spine is quite uncomfortable. I was in the tube like machine, very close to your face and fairly squishy for the body, for about 1 hour and 15 minutes, yuck! My back was so sore when I was done, I was glad I was getting the test done. My back hurts the most during the night when I've been laying still. I had to have a contrast IV injection, they always leave me feeling off and gross the rest of the day.
The purpose of the test is to see if my breast cancer has spread to my spine (bones), this would be metastises of my breast cancer, which is refered to as mets. So they are looking for breast cancer mets, but I've been feeling so good this last week I've been very encouraged. I've been able to exercise every day and I'm going to be returning to work at abc restaurant next week.
Now that I'm feeling more normal, in fact the best I've felt in almost 3 years, the future seems so much brighter again. Thank-you again for everyone's prayers; new prayer requests have been posted on the left.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Concert goer:)
I found a fellow concert goer to join me at the American Idol concert. Jenn and I were roomate my last summer semester of college in 1993 and then we got our first apartment together with our friend Evelyn 1993-1994.Though we have seen each other a bit over the years we have never gone out and done something together in almost 16 years! IT will be fun, we'll pretend that we are that much younger again. Hopefully our bodies will let us do the dancing and jumping without getting injured:)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Breast cancer movie tonight; a must see!
I am excited to watch "Living Proof" at 8pm tonight on W (women's network) starring Harry Connick Jr. a movie about the discovery of my kind of breast cancer and one of the treatments I had. I hope you get a chance to see it.
Friday, May 22, 2009
I am an American Idol fan; I confess:)
Chris hates that I watch the show, and this season was my favorite! So I just purchased tickets to go to the concert on July 8th at GM place and I need someone to go with me. I got decent seats and the cost for a ticket with all the taxes and fees is $69. Who wants to join me? Adam, Danny, Allison, Kris, Meagan...it will be a great show!!!I'll be dancing and singing and out of my seat, who is up for it?!?!
Friday, May 15, 2009
The tragedy of an old friend.
I just heard of the devestating loss that a highschool friend, Tammy (Hien) Woods has and is enduring. Her husband of 15 years, Gary Woods, was killed in a work related accident two weeks ago. They were happy, healthy and loving raising their 5 children, so much so that they had decided to have another. Tammy is expecting the couple's 6th child in June and is lost as to what to do without the love of her life and the father of her 6 children.
My heart just aches at this news. I can hardly believe that these things happen. There is a foundation set up to help out this family in the short term before other sources of income come through. Though I have not seem Tammy in 7 and a half years, I intend to support her anyway I can.
Tammy and I acted together in highschool, were cheerleaders together, members of the ISCF (Inter-School Christian fellowship)and were in the Miss Chilliwack pagent together 1990; we finished along side of each other, me in 4th and her 3rd.
Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers.
My heart just aches at this news. I can hardly believe that these things happen. There is a foundation set up to help out this family in the short term before other sources of income come through. Though I have not seem Tammy in 7 and a half years, I intend to support her anyway I can.
Tammy and I acted together in highschool, were cheerleaders together, members of the ISCF (Inter-School Christian fellowship)and were in the Miss Chilliwack pagent together 1990; we finished along side of each other, me in 4th and her 3rd.
Please keep this family in your thoughts and prayers.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
My latest great read.
Tuesdays with Morrie
I have just finished reading “Tuesdays with Morrie” this afternoon; I began reading it about 12 hours before. I did sleep, but I was drawn back to it as soon as I awoke. I couldn’t decide if the book was about dying or living and then I realized it was about both; after all you can’t have one with out the other.
The story is told about a man, Morrie Schwartz, who is 76, and quickly approaching death from ALS; the story is written by his student in class and in life, Mitch Albom. It’s a story about an old man, his life and all the great lessons that came so clearly to him through it and especially towards the end.
Perhaps like me you’ve heard of this wonderful story of this man’s life and death and you haven’t gotten around to reading it. I’d encourage you now to do so. Today day is a better day in my life than yesterday was, as a direct result of reading this book. If you’ve already read this book then you know exactly what I’m talking about, if you’ve forgotten the message then perhaps read it again.
He was a professor and a project oriented man and he decided to make death his final project. From this project he enjoyed the process and left us an amazing final product. HE wanted to leave us with the message that “dying” is not “useless”, it was the most necessary part of life. He reminds the reader that life is about “being human”, “fully-human” and relating to others”, “connectedness”..
Some of his life philosophies are shared:
- Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do.
-
- Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it.
-
- Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others.
-
- Don’t assume that it’s too late to get involved.
-
- The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
- The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let love come in.
- Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
- Forgive yourself and then forgive others.
- Death ends a life, not relationships.
This book asks, “Who is Morrie Schwartz?”
I ask, “Who am I?”
After reading this book I know the answers to both those questions a whole lot more.
I have just finished reading “Tuesdays with Morrie” this afternoon; I began reading it about 12 hours before. I did sleep, but I was drawn back to it as soon as I awoke. I couldn’t decide if the book was about dying or living and then I realized it was about both; after all you can’t have one with out the other.
The story is told about a man, Morrie Schwartz, who is 76, and quickly approaching death from ALS; the story is written by his student in class and in life, Mitch Albom. It’s a story about an old man, his life and all the great lessons that came so clearly to him through it and especially towards the end.
Perhaps like me you’ve heard of this wonderful story of this man’s life and death and you haven’t gotten around to reading it. I’d encourage you now to do so. Today day is a better day in my life than yesterday was, as a direct result of reading this book. If you’ve already read this book then you know exactly what I’m talking about, if you’ve forgotten the message then perhaps read it again.
He was a professor and a project oriented man and he decided to make death his final project. From this project he enjoyed the process and left us an amazing final product. HE wanted to leave us with the message that “dying” is not “useless”, it was the most necessary part of life. He reminds the reader that life is about “being human”, “fully-human” and relating to others”, “connectedness”..
Some of his life philosophies are shared:
- Accept what you are able to do and what you are not able to do.
-
- Accept the past as past, without denying it or discarding it.
-
- Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others.
-
- Don’t assume that it’s too late to get involved.
-
- The way you get meaning in your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
- The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and to let love come in.
- Once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.
- Forgive yourself and then forgive others.
- Death ends a life, not relationships.
This book asks, “Who is Morrie Schwartz?”
I ask, “Who am I?”
After reading this book I know the answers to both those questions a whole lot more.
Makes me laugh!!
My youngest has decided that she is a super-hero, running around naked with only a towel as her cape. She's loudly singing her personally composed theme song, as I announce her as the "Bare-butt crusader"!!:)
Death is not dying.com
My friend Rachel (Sawer) Barkey, has had a website dedicated to her. It's worth anyone and everyone looking at. Please take some time to go there.
www.deathisnotdying.com
www.deathisnotdying.com
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
May 13th
Seven years ago today my best friend, Carmen (Toews) Anderson passed away. I've been thinking and feeling a lot...just now, in 10 minutes, I wrote the following in my journal, and I want to share it with you.
Though my body is weak
and my heart is faint;
My eyes are fixed on one Greater
and my vision does not falter.
My steps have become stumbles
and there is no strength for a skip;
but my heart can leap and
sing with joyful praise.
Even though the tears flow freely
and my tongue is silenced;
the prayers of my heart are clear
and their sound is sweet to my creator's ear.
My hands are held back from
the work that they are desperate to complete;
but my fingers can write and express
the longing of my hopes and dreams.
When I feel as though I am falling
I am swept up with a sense of belonging.
The fear that shrowds me slowly fades away
and the light of my life steps out of the darkness.
"I am here, where I belong!", I proclaim to "death",
that lingers around a near-by corner.
"Oh, not yet!" I cry,
for life is so much more than dying!
Though my body is weak
and my heart is faint;
My eyes are fixed on one Greater
and my vision does not falter.
My steps have become stumbles
and there is no strength for a skip;
but my heart can leap and
sing with joyful praise.
Even though the tears flow freely
and my tongue is silenced;
the prayers of my heart are clear
and their sound is sweet to my creator's ear.
My hands are held back from
the work that they are desperate to complete;
but my fingers can write and express
the longing of my hopes and dreams.
When I feel as though I am falling
I am swept up with a sense of belonging.
The fear that shrowds me slowly fades away
and the light of my life steps out of the darkness.
"I am here, where I belong!", I proclaim to "death",
that lingers around a near-by corner.
"Oh, not yet!" I cry,
for life is so much more than dying!
Monday, May 11, 2009
Oops, I did it again!!
The below blog entry had another mistake, I was suppose to say that their are some people in my life that I love very, VERY much!!; who happen to smoke.
Though I wish they could quite, or I suppose really wish they had never started in the first place,I know that most of them wish they could to.
I need to proof read my blog entries better, i don't always have much time:)
Hope all you Mother's had a wonderful Mother's Day; I got breakfast in bed and roses, yeah me!!
Though I wish they could quite, or I suppose really wish they had never started in the first place,I know that most of them wish they could to.
I need to proof read my blog entries better, i don't always have much time:)
Hope all you Mother's had a wonderful Mother's Day; I got breakfast in bed and roses, yeah me!!
Friday, May 8, 2009
OOPS!
The blog entry following this one had a few simple mistakes, I think I was too tired when I wrote it...but it also featured one major mistake. On my list of 5 things I hate that others seem to love, I listed "Smokers", what I meant to write was SMOKING, to me there is a big difference.
There are a few people that I much , who happen to smoke. Though I wish they could quit this nasty habit they have, it doesn't change how much I care about them!! Thankfully these people who also love me, choose not to smoke around me and I thank them for that.
Have I tried smoking in the past, yes I confess, but it always made me feel gross. Now It makes me feel even worse and can leave me gasping for air if I don't have an inhaler near by. I often will get a headache just from the passing smell of it.
so as much as I hate smoking, and wish my loved ones didn't smoke, I love them just the same:)
Sorry for the error:(
Feather
There are a few people that I much , who happen to smoke. Though I wish they could quit this nasty habit they have, it doesn't change how much I care about them!! Thankfully these people who also love me, choose not to smoke around me and I thank them for that.
Have I tried smoking in the past, yes I confess, but it always made me feel gross. Now It makes me feel even worse and can leave me gasping for air if I don't have an inhaler near by. I often will get a headache just from the passing smell of it.
so as much as I hate smoking, and wish my loved ones didn't smoke, I love them just the same:)
Sorry for the error:(
Feather
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Just for fun...But I'm serious!!:)
Someone on Facebook asked me the top five things that I hate but everyone else seems to like...
So here they are, in no particular order:
1. Skinny Jeans (they don't come in plus sizes?!?!)I It hought I was done with "Jor-ass" jeans in highschool?!?!)
2. Beer (All I taste is yeast, yuck!! I prefer the hard stuff. haha)
3. Giant Gas Guzzlers (I'm a tree-hugger at heart, it's in my flower child blood!!)
4. Smokers (Also I'm "allergic" to cigerette smoke; it gives me an asthma attack)
5. Snoop Dog (HOW is he famous?!?!)
What are "negatively passionate" about?!?
I am positively passionate about...
1. Faith
2. Love
3. Hope
4. Fellowship
5. Compassion
Passion is good!!!
Get passionate about something!!
So here they are, in no particular order:
1. Skinny Jeans (they don't come in plus sizes?!?!)I It hought I was done with "Jor-ass" jeans in highschool?!?!)
2. Beer (All I taste is yeast, yuck!! I prefer the hard stuff. haha)
3. Giant Gas Guzzlers (I'm a tree-hugger at heart, it's in my flower child blood!!)
4. Smokers (Also I'm "allergic" to cigerette smoke; it gives me an asthma attack)
5. Snoop Dog (HOW is he famous?!?!)
What are "negatively passionate" about?!?
I am positively passionate about...
1. Faith
2. Love
3. Hope
4. Fellowship
5. Compassion
Passion is good!!!
Get passionate about something!!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Feeling "Betterish"?!?
I realize that "Betterish" is not a word, but I've adopted it to explain how I am feeling when people ask the age-old question, "How are you?" Betterish, seems to cover it, since I don't really know how to describe how I am feeling.
Since returning home from the hospital I have not improved how I would like, actually in some ways I have gotten worse. My "lower-back" region is causing me much pain and inability to do the things I would rather be doing.Lately I've managed to sleep and rest a lot in hopes of feeling better, but it doesn't seem to be working.
I did get out to see Chris sing with the Debbie Fortnum and the MEI Chilliwack Children's choir last tuesday night, and I've suffered ever since.
I managed some how to get to a baby shower for Lisa ( Lisa is our good friend who came to Disneyland with us last year) She and Mike welcomed their first child, Max, On April 23rd. I feel a close bond with Lisa as she lost her Mom to breast cancer, almost exactly three years to the day her son was born.
I'd appreciate continued prayer and support as I don't know what the further tests will show. I haven't been writting much on my blog as even writing this amount has caused my back serious pain. I must go and rest now. The girls will be home from school soon.
In general I have a lot of not so good I know more.
Sincerely,
Feather
Since returning home from the hospital I have not improved how I would like, actually in some ways I have gotten worse. My "lower-back" region is causing me much pain and inability to do the things I would rather be doing.Lately I've managed to sleep and rest a lot in hopes of feeling better, but it doesn't seem to be working.
I did get out to see Chris sing with the Debbie Fortnum and the MEI Chilliwack Children's choir last tuesday night, and I've suffered ever since.
I managed some how to get to a baby shower for Lisa ( Lisa is our good friend who came to Disneyland with us last year) She and Mike welcomed their first child, Max, On April 23rd. I feel a close bond with Lisa as she lost her Mom to breast cancer, almost exactly three years to the day her son was born.
I'd appreciate continued prayer and support as I don't know what the further tests will show. I haven't been writting much on my blog as even writing this amount has caused my back serious pain. I must go and rest now. The girls will be home from school soon.
In general I have a lot of not so good I know more.
Sincerely,
Feather
Saturday, May 2, 2009
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