Friday, October 26, 2007
Quote for my Day!
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat" Teddy Roosevelt
Quote for my Day!
"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat" Teddy Roosevelt
Reflections of the Cross.
The following is an article I just wrote that will be published in the next publication of the "Reflections of the Cross" newsletter, put out by Rosslyn Delmonico(my mentor)and Valley Christian women's Network.
It's Entitled:
Living my miracle in the midst of the “C”-word.
Do miracles still happen today? Or were they just for biblical times? I know miracles are happening around and in my life often, because I believe it and I choose to see them. Big or small my Saviour Jesus Christ made them all and I do believe that they are even more prevalent in our modern times. Many of my life miracles can be condensed into 6 “C” words; Conception, Conversion, Christ, Cancer, Childbirth and Choosing. ( And NO I didn’t choose my name, it was given to me at birth by my Hippie Parent’s:))
I was first diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 23. Within the hour of being diagnosed I remember very clearly praying out loud, “Lord, whether in my life or in my death, I just want you to use me.” At the time the desire and prayer of my heart was that my life wouldn’t be over anytime soon, as I’d fully intended to find my true love,Chris Janz, get married and become a Mommy to our two girls, Carmelle and Cadence . I cried out to God, that I’d have a miracle in body and that the cancer would be gone. I do believe that the miracle came and I lived free from cancer for 12 years.
With in this time, I met my wonderful husband Chris, fell in love, had the wedding and just shy of 5 years later was expecting our first baby. I was so close to having everything I’d asked God for, I was living my miracle. God heard my prayers and answered them, in His time. The miracle of life was growing inside of me, which was soon to be discovered to be our daughter Carmelle. I embraced my time of being pregnant because, I realized it was the only time I was going to assist God in a miracleJ
When I went into labour with Carmelle, many things went wrong very quickly. When I realized that our baby was in serious trouble, I remember praying out to God, knowing that this child was His, but that I desperately wanted to meet him or her. I desired to love this child, even though I knew that the love I had to give was only a fraction of the love He had to give both of us. Carmelle was born as a “code pink”, an emergency C-section, with me under immediate anesthetic and Chris pushed out of the OR, so Carmelle could be resuscitated. She was born not breathing, with no heart beat and with her lungs and stomach full of myconium. They didn’t know how long she’d gone without oxygen, so she was in an incubator in the special care nursery for the first few days, while they observed her for any brain damage. She is now a perfecting healthy, active and precocious 4 yr. old, who’d sternly correct me and state that she is in fact, 4 and a half!
When I was pregnant I was also able to realize what a miracle my own existence was. Recognizing the miracle of my own conception, even though my parent’s marriage didn’t last and I was the only child, I wasn’t a mistake. My life was God’s plan from the beginning to the end. Now is that not a miracle that we can all claim in our own lives?!?
I found Christ and converted to Christianity, into a then non-Christian home, when I was only 7 years old. I discovered Christ and the Bible through my Great-Aunt Catherine, who was a Nun and a beacon for Christ in my young life and through into my 20’s. One Summer Sunday morning in 1979, I obeyed the Lord’s call, when He made clear to me that I couldn’t enter His house that day with out Him being “King” in the castle of my heart. This was the second Sunday school song I ever learnt, “Let His flag fly High in the castle of my heart”, the first was, “He brought me to His banqueting table, His banner over me His Love.” That day I prayed in my neighbour lady’s car, right there in the parking lot, and then testified in front of the entire Sunday school program of 100 of my peers. (That was met first speaking engagement.) I soon learnt my first Bible verse, which has been a theme verse for my life, Matthew 5:14, “You are the light of the world, a city on a hill cannot be hidden.” I received my very first Bible and entered an essay contest, “What the Bible means to me.” I won that contest, with my mother helping me write my words, and she received Christ as her Lord and Saviour soon after.
When I was 17, God called on me to serve Him in the mission field. Over the subsequent 10+ years I served in South Central LA, East LA, Australia, Camden New Jersey, Belfast N. Ireland, Germany, England and in my community. All of these experiences brought miraculous changes to my life and to my spiritual walk through it.
Chris and I got married in June of 1998 and we wanted to wait until I was 7 years cancer free before trying to start a family. Just as we started to put the “plan into action”, of bringing a new life into the world, my best friend Carmen (Toews) Anderson was called Home to Jesus. The tragic loss of Carmen left a huge void in my life and in the lives of so many who loved her. She was the sister I’d never had, she was my matron-of-honour, she was my sounding board for my life decisions and my side-kick. She was irreplaceable, but when my first daughter was born 9 months later, she was to bear the name of my childhood best friend, Carmen- Elizabeth (Carmelle). My 17 year friendship with Carmen was a miracle and so was her life. She taught me many things, but the one thing I reflect on the most these days, is how she truly embraced each day of her life in the face of her own mortality.
On March 16th, 2007, 12 years and 6 days after my first diagnosis with breast cancer, I was told I had cancer again, only this time a different form of breast cancer. I faced another mastectomy, 6 months of chemotherapy, 6 weeks of radiation and a year of IV herceptin treatment. I’m now half way done and the worst is behind me. I haven’t mourned the loss of my breasts or my long blonde hair, instead I have decided to choose to see the miracles. I choose to celebrate the miracles of each new day, each day being one that the Lord has made and I shall rejoice and be glad in it! Big or small, I sense His presence and hand in everything. Even in the fact that I have a nicely shaped bald head…that being bald brings out my eyes…that God guided the hand of my gifted plastic surgeon…and that my husband is a "butt-man" who appreciates my “Chemo-padded” one:)
I challenge you to look into your own life, find your miracles and to pray for your own “C’s”.
To follow my journey of “C’s” log onto my website and read my blog at: www.featherjanz.com
It's Entitled:
Living my miracle in the midst of the “C”-word.
Do miracles still happen today? Or were they just for biblical times? I know miracles are happening around and in my life often, because I believe it and I choose to see them. Big or small my Saviour Jesus Christ made them all and I do believe that they are even more prevalent in our modern times. Many of my life miracles can be condensed into 6 “C” words; Conception, Conversion, Christ, Cancer, Childbirth and Choosing. ( And NO I didn’t choose my name, it was given to me at birth by my Hippie Parent’s:))
I was first diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 23. Within the hour of being diagnosed I remember very clearly praying out loud, “Lord, whether in my life or in my death, I just want you to use me.” At the time the desire and prayer of my heart was that my life wouldn’t be over anytime soon, as I’d fully intended to find my true love,Chris Janz, get married and become a Mommy to our two girls, Carmelle and Cadence . I cried out to God, that I’d have a miracle in body and that the cancer would be gone. I do believe that the miracle came and I lived free from cancer for 12 years.
With in this time, I met my wonderful husband Chris, fell in love, had the wedding and just shy of 5 years later was expecting our first baby. I was so close to having everything I’d asked God for, I was living my miracle. God heard my prayers and answered them, in His time. The miracle of life was growing inside of me, which was soon to be discovered to be our daughter Carmelle. I embraced my time of being pregnant because, I realized it was the only time I was going to assist God in a miracleJ
When I went into labour with Carmelle, many things went wrong very quickly. When I realized that our baby was in serious trouble, I remember praying out to God, knowing that this child was His, but that I desperately wanted to meet him or her. I desired to love this child, even though I knew that the love I had to give was only a fraction of the love He had to give both of us. Carmelle was born as a “code pink”, an emergency C-section, with me under immediate anesthetic and Chris pushed out of the OR, so Carmelle could be resuscitated. She was born not breathing, with no heart beat and with her lungs and stomach full of myconium. They didn’t know how long she’d gone without oxygen, so she was in an incubator in the special care nursery for the first few days, while they observed her for any brain damage. She is now a perfecting healthy, active and precocious 4 yr. old, who’d sternly correct me and state that she is in fact, 4 and a half!
When I was pregnant I was also able to realize what a miracle my own existence was. Recognizing the miracle of my own conception, even though my parent’s marriage didn’t last and I was the only child, I wasn’t a mistake. My life was God’s plan from the beginning to the end. Now is that not a miracle that we can all claim in our own lives?!?
I found Christ and converted to Christianity, into a then non-Christian home, when I was only 7 years old. I discovered Christ and the Bible through my Great-Aunt Catherine, who was a Nun and a beacon for Christ in my young life and through into my 20’s. One Summer Sunday morning in 1979, I obeyed the Lord’s call, when He made clear to me that I couldn’t enter His house that day with out Him being “King” in the castle of my heart. This was the second Sunday school song I ever learnt, “Let His flag fly High in the castle of my heart”, the first was, “He brought me to His banqueting table, His banner over me His Love.” That day I prayed in my neighbour lady’s car, right there in the parking lot, and then testified in front of the entire Sunday school program of 100 of my peers. (That was met first speaking engagement.) I soon learnt my first Bible verse, which has been a theme verse for my life, Matthew 5:14, “You are the light of the world, a city on a hill cannot be hidden.” I received my very first Bible and entered an essay contest, “What the Bible means to me.” I won that contest, with my mother helping me write my words, and she received Christ as her Lord and Saviour soon after.
When I was 17, God called on me to serve Him in the mission field. Over the subsequent 10+ years I served in South Central LA, East LA, Australia, Camden New Jersey, Belfast N. Ireland, Germany, England and in my community. All of these experiences brought miraculous changes to my life and to my spiritual walk through it.
Chris and I got married in June of 1998 and we wanted to wait until I was 7 years cancer free before trying to start a family. Just as we started to put the “plan into action”, of bringing a new life into the world, my best friend Carmen (Toews) Anderson was called Home to Jesus. The tragic loss of Carmen left a huge void in my life and in the lives of so many who loved her. She was the sister I’d never had, she was my matron-of-honour, she was my sounding board for my life decisions and my side-kick. She was irreplaceable, but when my first daughter was born 9 months later, she was to bear the name of my childhood best friend, Carmen- Elizabeth (Carmelle). My 17 year friendship with Carmen was a miracle and so was her life. She taught me many things, but the one thing I reflect on the most these days, is how she truly embraced each day of her life in the face of her own mortality.
On March 16th, 2007, 12 years and 6 days after my first diagnosis with breast cancer, I was told I had cancer again, only this time a different form of breast cancer. I faced another mastectomy, 6 months of chemotherapy, 6 weeks of radiation and a year of IV herceptin treatment. I’m now half way done and the worst is behind me. I haven’t mourned the loss of my breasts or my long blonde hair, instead I have decided to choose to see the miracles. I choose to celebrate the miracles of each new day, each day being one that the Lord has made and I shall rejoice and be glad in it! Big or small, I sense His presence and hand in everything. Even in the fact that I have a nicely shaped bald head…that being bald brings out my eyes…that God guided the hand of my gifted plastic surgeon…and that my husband is a "butt-man" who appreciates my “Chemo-padded” one:)
I challenge you to look into your own life, find your miracles and to pray for your own “C’s”.
To follow my journey of “C’s” log onto my website and read my blog at: www.featherjanz.com
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Suffering from uninspired chemo-brain!
I sat down to write on my blog, hoping something thought provoking and inspired would come to me. But alas...nothing. As my final chemo causes it's last amount of brain damage, brain cells not multiplying and dying because of the chemo drugs, I have nothing to write, offer or give. Even these few sentences have taken me several minutes to compile and I've had to correct about 8 words already. Sorry if I missed any:)It's a beautiful Fall day outside, Lizzy has taken the girls off for a walk and to the park, Chris is on an airplane to Calgary and I hardly have the energy to write even this. I'm glad at least that the lives of those I love, continues on around me. I'm happy that my cancer doesn't get to stop everything, just the cellular development in my body right now (including those dang cancer cells:)
Chris is going to the CGMA's (Canadian Gospel Music Awards) He'll be doing some workshops, presenting awards and hopfully winning for Producer of the Year, which he's nomoinated for the second year in a row! He'll also perform live on a local radio station, 3 of his new songs. Pray that he makes lots of new contacts and possible producing gigs that he can do in our new home studio in the new year!
I'm going to go eat something and rest my body, that's my job right now, and I'm doing it well:)!!
Chris is going to the CGMA's (Canadian Gospel Music Awards) He'll be doing some workshops, presenting awards and hopfully winning for Producer of the Year, which he's nomoinated for the second year in a row! He'll also perform live on a local radio station, 3 of his new songs. Pray that he makes lots of new contacts and possible producing gigs that he can do in our new home studio in the new year!
I'm going to go eat something and rest my body, that's my job right now, and I'm doing it well:)!!
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Packing has started...
When I'm feeling up to it, I pack as many boxes as possible. At this rate should go fairly smoothly over the next weeks. I pack a box or two and then take a break. It's A system that seems to be working and isn't very stressful. I'm starting to crash from the chemo. THe first couple of days aren't so bad because of the steriods. By tomorrow I crash for a few days. I hope to be feeling much better by next week and I'm looking forward to a few weeks of feeling pretty good. My hair will start to grow back around a month from now. By spring I should have a cute new short do. I'm off to sleep now. Last night I slept 16 hours, I'm hoping the same for tonight.
Good-night!
Good-night!
Friday, October 19, 2007
Who's the idiot...oh it's my husband:)
We were in Vancouver for my final chemo and it good Vancouver, West Coast, fashion it was pouring rain! So we stopped at a store where Chris could run in and get an umbrella. While I was waiting for him to return I noticed a guy walking through the down pour holding a closed umbrella. I thought, what an idiot, why doesn't he open his umbrella and use it!! Then I realized the "idiot" was my dear husband!! When he got in the car soaked, twice as wet as he should have been, we had a good laugh. As he too thought to himself half way to the car, I'm an idiot why don't I have my umbrella open?!? We laughed until our faces hurt, so we didn't care how wet and dismal it was outside:)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Dates set...
We signed the deal to our new house last night! My parent's came to see the house as well. They were very excited for us, as they walked through our soon-to-be home, they were impressed with how nice it is. We thought the house looked even better seeing it the second time, as our home. So moving day is Saturday Dec 1st. If you are available and willing around that date to help us with, packing, moving, cleaning and unpacking, please contact us! You can find my contact info atmy website: www.featherjanz.com
I've just returned from my radiation oncology appointment. Treatment will start on Monday Dec 3rd. SO I have about a month of recovery time between Chemo ending and radiation starting. This is great for me, as treatment doesn't interfer with packing and moving.
This does mean that treatment will go over the holiday season and into the New Year. I'll have to have treatment on my birthday, but I'm glad with how it's working out. This will be what's best for me and my family.
The Radiation Oncologist was very encouraging today that I should feel quite normal on radiation treatment. The hardest part is going in every day for the 6 weeks. She said it will be a bit longer because of missing three days over the holidays (Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years Day) and they will probably add and extra day, making it 29 treatments total.
Anyway, I'm off to a nap, as are my girls. All is quite, but never for long around here:)
I've just returned from my radiation oncology appointment. Treatment will start on Monday Dec 3rd. SO I have about a month of recovery time between Chemo ending and radiation starting. This is great for me, as treatment doesn't interfer with packing and moving.
This does mean that treatment will go over the holiday season and into the New Year. I'll have to have treatment on my birthday, but I'm glad with how it's working out. This will be what's best for me and my family.
The Radiation Oncologist was very encouraging today that I should feel quite normal on radiation treatment. The hardest part is going in every day for the 6 weeks. She said it will be a bit longer because of missing three days over the holidays (Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years Day) and they will probably add and extra day, making it 29 treatments total.
Anyway, I'm off to a nap, as are my girls. All is quite, but never for long around here:)
Sunday, October 14, 2007
House SOLD!!
IT’s TRUE!! In less than 24 hours, we had an offer on the house, they saw it this afternoon, and we are signing the paper work tonight!! Because it was through people we know and not with our Real estate agent, we save the fees. Plus we only had to show the house once!! YEAH!!! We feel so good about all of this. We feel so reassured that we’ve made the right decision. We sure feel God’s hand of blessing on us and our new house. It’s all happened so fast, it’s a bit of a whirl wind, but very exciting!! We don’t know when exactly we’ll be moving yet, but they’d like to have the end of November. We still feel that even sooner is better for us, even though it’ll be crazy. I’d like to move before radiation therapy starts and Chris starts a big project in Mid- Nov. Please pray that this too will happen for us. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, anything is possible for God!!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
House for Sale.
It’s true, we are selling our house. It’s all happened very quickly. It’s a long story so I’ll try to shorten it. The move is good, in fact it’s great! We were given an offer we can’t refuse. People we know from our church contacted us and asked us if we’d be interested in buying their house. It’s a large family home with a full recording studio in it! When we saw it we couldn’t believe that we could have it, it just seemed to good to be true! We met with our real estate agent the next day and our mortgage broker. We found out that we can make over $100,000 on the sale of our house in just 2 years and we got approved for the mortgage, which is hardly more than we are paying now. We’ll be saving by using our studio instead of renting studio space all of the time, in some crazy way we’ll actually save money moving to this bigger house! Plus Chris will completely have his own business! Like I said it sounds to good to be true, but it isn’t. In my world that’s called a “God Thing”. Yes, we have the stress of moving, selling and packing, but I love having a big project to work on and something so great to look forward to. This is what’s best for my family. Chris can work so much more right from home, and the house is a great deal and is in a fantastic neighbourhood. The view is incredible and the property is on a cul-de-sac street and backs on to greenbelt. We feel so blessed and can’t believe that this could happen to us, especially during such a crazy time. It’s like an answer to prayer that we weren’t even praying. God knows the desires of our hearts and knows what’s best for us. The other great thing is that there is an –in-law type suite, where my best friend Lizzy will be living. She’s been helping us like a live-in Nanny, she’s a real God sent as well. We love her and don’t know what we would do with out her!!
Please pray that our house sells as soon as possible and that we’ll be settled into our new house by Christmas, before my radiation therapy would be even better, and even though some may think that’s impossible:) Nothing is impossible with God!!
Please pray that our house sells as soon as possible and that we’ll be settled into our new house by Christmas, before my radiation therapy would be even better, and even though some may think that’s impossible:) Nothing is impossible with God!!
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Drainage Problem...
As the chemo continues to cause many changes in my body that I didn’t expect, another arises. You don’t realize how handy your nose hairs are until you don’t have any! You expect that when you sniff, everything stays as it should. But you don’t understand what a great assistance those nose hairs are, until you are having a drainage problem and you’ve lost control! I can’t get to the tissue fast enough, even when I often have one right in my pocket. Thank goddness for laminate floors and paper towel, as just tilting forward and hoping no one notices has become the most common and easiest solution. I’m just waiting for the day when my four year old is directly under me, when I can’t help but laughing out loud about the incident and she exclaims, “S’NOT FUNNY MOMMY!”
Sunday, October 7, 2007
God's Will?
I had a distressing experience this week when a well intended man, dropped off a book for me. The opening quote made me sick to my stomach. (sicker than the chemo made me feel)I believed that the theology was off...way off. I wrote my father-in-law for his thoughts on the matter, since he is a gifted, renowned, and published theologian. The opening quote was this, "God's perfect will is not to heal you...His perfect will is that you don't get sick!"- Henry W. Wright I won't read any further at that point. My gut reaction was to burn the book, or at the very least give it back to him, or just get rid of it.
The following is the written response of my Father-in-law, Dr. Paul D Janz. He was able to articulate very eloquently and intelligently, what I was thinking and feeling and knew to be right.
By:
Dr Paul D Janz
Dept of Theology and Religious Studies
King's College London
My goodness, Feather, I can see how this would have been distressing! I'm very glad you didn't read any further, and God bless you for it! These kinds of things are always a 'false gospel', and a false gospel of the most insipid and devious and contemptible kind. You're probably right that the person who gave you the book was well intentioned, but the original perpetrators of this kind of thing not only pervert and destroy the very heart of the gospel but invariably also do it for selfish gain.
They are false and perverted to the core because they effectively deny the agony of Gethsemane and the Cross, from which Jesus himself asked to be spared but was not. They deny Christ's suffering without which there is no redemption for us (Heb. 2). They deny the example of the apostle Paul, who was throughout his whole ministry plagued with an illness so
severe that it was a 'trial' to those around him, an illness which he pleaded with God three times to be delivered from, only to be given the answer: 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' (2 Cor. 12.9). In fact Paul says explicitly to the Galatians: 'You know that it was because of a bodily illness that I preached the gospel to you the first time; and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself' (Gal 4.12-14). St Paul talks in fact about 'rejoicing in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope' (Rom 5.3). Hebrews 2:10 talks about Jesus himself 'being made perfect through suffering' and only through suffering becoming 'the author of our salvation'. All the Pauline epistles are full of this kind of language, and so are the gospels. Many of the most loving and selfless missionaries, such as David Livingstone, suffered deep and long from very severe and agonizing illness and were a blessing from God to the world for it! Or
think of people like Vern Heidebrecht who shine out the love and righteousness of God in new and more powerful ways because of illness, and in illness.
The people who perpetrate this kind of thing (not the person who gave you the book, poor soul) are just like the 'name it and claim it' lot, whose god is their wallets and their stomach. If you really want to know what I think of these kinds of people, who prey on poor souls with less life experience and wisdom than you have, read Jude 11-13. Their website confirms even more strongly their status as purveyors of those kinds of perversions. You can see that this kind of thing really hits a nerve with me, because it goes to the heart of everything that the Christian life is not, and denies everything I believe about the life and power of Jesus Christ.
God bless you Feather! And thank you for writing to me about this. You are a shining light for people around you, even, and maybe especially, when you are most downtrodden. And in bearing your own suffering with the forbearance and hope that you do, you yourself are a 'participant in the sufferings of Christ' himself (1 Peter 4.13) and a 'reflection of his glory' to the rest of us!
You're in our prayers every day many times. God bless you again!
Paul
The following is the written response of my Father-in-law, Dr. Paul D Janz. He was able to articulate very eloquently and intelligently, what I was thinking and feeling and knew to be right.
By:
Dr Paul D Janz
Dept of Theology and Religious Studies
King's College London
My goodness, Feather, I can see how this would have been distressing! I'm very glad you didn't read any further, and God bless you for it! These kinds of things are always a 'false gospel', and a false gospel of the most insipid and devious and contemptible kind. You're probably right that the person who gave you the book was well intentioned, but the original perpetrators of this kind of thing not only pervert and destroy the very heart of the gospel but invariably also do it for selfish gain.
They are false and perverted to the core because they effectively deny the agony of Gethsemane and the Cross, from which Jesus himself asked to be spared but was not. They deny Christ's suffering without which there is no redemption for us (Heb. 2). They deny the example of the apostle Paul, who was throughout his whole ministry plagued with an illness so
severe that it was a 'trial' to those around him, an illness which he pleaded with God three times to be delivered from, only to be given the answer: 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness' (2 Cor. 12.9). In fact Paul says explicitly to the Galatians: 'You know that it was because of a bodily illness that I preached the gospel to you the first time; and that which was a trial to you in my bodily condition you did not despise or loathe, but you received me as an angel of God, as Christ Jesus Himself' (Gal 4.12-14). St Paul talks in fact about 'rejoicing in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope' (Rom 5.3). Hebrews 2:10 talks about Jesus himself 'being made perfect through suffering' and only through suffering becoming 'the author of our salvation'. All the Pauline epistles are full of this kind of language, and so are the gospels. Many of the most loving and selfless missionaries, such as David Livingstone, suffered deep and long from very severe and agonizing illness and were a blessing from God to the world for it! Or
think of people like Vern Heidebrecht who shine out the love and righteousness of God in new and more powerful ways because of illness, and in illness.
The people who perpetrate this kind of thing (not the person who gave you the book, poor soul) are just like the 'name it and claim it' lot, whose god is their wallets and their stomach. If you really want to know what I think of these kinds of people, who prey on poor souls with less life experience and wisdom than you have, read Jude 11-13. Their website confirms even more strongly their status as purveyors of those kinds of perversions. You can see that this kind of thing really hits a nerve with me, because it goes to the heart of everything that the Christian life is not, and denies everything I believe about the life and power of Jesus Christ.
God bless you Feather! And thank you for writing to me about this. You are a shining light for people around you, even, and maybe especially, when you are most downtrodden. And in bearing your own suffering with the forbearance and hope that you do, you yourself are a 'participant in the sufferings of Christ' himself (1 Peter 4.13) and a 'reflection of his glory' to the rest of us!
You're in our prayers every day many times. God bless you again!
Paul
Happy Thankgiving from my 4 year old...
Thank-you for Jesus.
Thank-you for hugs.
Thank-you for unicorns ( oh yeah there's not such thing as unicorns:)
Thank-you for horses.
Thank-you for making us.
Thank-you for all the food.
Thank-you for water, and Choclate mail and juice.
Thank-you for fairs and rides.
Thank-you for candy treats.
Thank-you for our house.
Thank-you for Grandma's and Grandpa's.
Thank-you for friends and my best friend Miranda.
Thank-you for our babysitter Jessica.
Thank-you for Awana club.
Thank-you for games.
Thank-you for dress-up playtime.
Thank-you for Mommy, Daddy, Cadence and Auntie Lizzy.
Thank-you for hugs.
Thank-you for unicorns ( oh yeah there's not such thing as unicorns:)
Thank-you for horses.
Thank-you for making us.
Thank-you for all the food.
Thank-you for water, and Choclate mail and juice.
Thank-you for fairs and rides.
Thank-you for candy treats.
Thank-you for our house.
Thank-you for Grandma's and Grandpa's.
Thank-you for friends and my best friend Miranda.
Thank-you for our babysitter Jessica.
Thank-you for Awana club.
Thank-you for games.
Thank-you for dress-up playtime.
Thank-you for Mommy, Daddy, Cadence and Auntie Lizzy.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Sometimes the Truth sounds like this...
A telemarketer called today and I answered. He told me the company he worked for and then said, "And how are you today?" I replied, very matter-of-factly,"I feel like Crap. I have cancer. I've just had chemo and I don't have the time or the energy to talk to you today. Good-bye." He simply said, "Oh, okay, good-bye" What could he say? I spoke the truth and didn't think twice about it. I wasn't emotional, it's just the way it is. Today was a particularly painful day. I pray that tomorrow is better.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
My new friend's "birds-eye-view" of the Run for the Cure...
I've made a new friend, Jillian, just in the last couple of weeks. I met her on facebook, she knew Chris through her siblings from MEI school days. I met her in person the first time when she came to our benefit concert. Then she came out to support me with the run for the Cure. She wrote me a very nice email about her experience with us at the event. I'd like to share it with you:
Yesterday was a special day for me. I wasn't going to miss it, no matter what got in the way.
I arrived at Rotary around 845am and didn't know what to do. I didn't know anyone and I couldn't find the sign you described in your blog so I sat beside a pillar and waited. It was raining so hard and everyone was trying to make the best of it. Not too much later, a mom and her daughter arrived with the famous signs you described on your blog. I was so happy to see those signs because that meant it was really happening. Your friend and her daughter put so much into making those signs. (they even put plastic over to protect from the rain). Then I saw you with Chris and your two girls (there were others with you as well). You both had your arms full of bags, papers, blankets and were pulling the little 'tent' with your girls inside. You arrived and set out blankets for us to sit on so we wouldn't get cold or wet from the rain.
You never asked to be put in the situation you are in. You never asked to have cancer or gain weight from all the different treatments/medications. You also never asked for your beautiful, long hair to fall out. Yes, you have cancer, but Feather, you have inspired me so much (my eyes are filling up with tears as I write this). I made two changes in my life last night when I was in Abbotsford and its because of you and what you have shown me the few weeks I've known you. Feather, thank you for being who you are and showing me there is so much more to life than trying to have all the latest clothes, cars...material things, you know what I mean.
I was very impressed because you did just have your seventh chemo two days prior. You have such amazing energy. You didn't stop moving around and going from one event/booth to another. Its was too bad Chris had to leave before the run even started, but it was nice to see him supporting you. (he even wore a pink bandana!) When I was at your house (later on) he told me his computer just crashed and he was trying to fix it before he had to go out. I wouldn't have known if he hadn't said something. He looked pretty calm and relaxed to me. Please thank him again for the cd and shirt - I haven't stopped listening to the CD.
Last comment - your mom. When she first arrived, she happened to be standing in front of me and I thought she was a friend supporting you. Nope, she introduced herself as your mom and I couldn't believe it. She was there supporting you and cheering for you. I'm sure your mom has been through many tough times along your journey, but when I saw her I was touched again. She was there with her 'fly' hat and 'birds of a feather fighting together' shirt on. I'm so glad I could meet her and get to know her.
Moms are the best, in every way!
Feather, I know you have so much on your plate, but thank you. Your facebook and email accounts are always open to anyone -even the door to your house. You don't turn anyone away and always find time for people like myself who just met you and want to get to know you even more.
All the best as you recover and rest this week. I know (if not already) you'll be on your feet organizing the next event trying to raise money for breast cancer as soon as you can.
Yesterday was a special day for me. I wasn't going to miss it, no matter what got in the way.
I arrived at Rotary around 845am and didn't know what to do. I didn't know anyone and I couldn't find the sign you described in your blog so I sat beside a pillar and waited. It was raining so hard and everyone was trying to make the best of it. Not too much later, a mom and her daughter arrived with the famous signs you described on your blog. I was so happy to see those signs because that meant it was really happening. Your friend and her daughter put so much into making those signs. (they even put plastic over to protect from the rain). Then I saw you with Chris and your two girls (there were others with you as well). You both had your arms full of bags, papers, blankets and were pulling the little 'tent' with your girls inside. You arrived and set out blankets for us to sit on so we wouldn't get cold or wet from the rain.
You never asked to be put in the situation you are in. You never asked to have cancer or gain weight from all the different treatments/medications. You also never asked for your beautiful, long hair to fall out. Yes, you have cancer, but Feather, you have inspired me so much (my eyes are filling up with tears as I write this). I made two changes in my life last night when I was in Abbotsford and its because of you and what you have shown me the few weeks I've known you. Feather, thank you for being who you are and showing me there is so much more to life than trying to have all the latest clothes, cars...material things, you know what I mean.
I was very impressed because you did just have your seventh chemo two days prior. You have such amazing energy. You didn't stop moving around and going from one event/booth to another. Its was too bad Chris had to leave before the run even started, but it was nice to see him supporting you. (he even wore a pink bandana!) When I was at your house (later on) he told me his computer just crashed and he was trying to fix it before he had to go out. I wouldn't have known if he hadn't said something. He looked pretty calm and relaxed to me. Please thank him again for the cd and shirt - I haven't stopped listening to the CD.
Last comment - your mom. When she first arrived, she happened to be standing in front of me and I thought she was a friend supporting you. Nope, she introduced herself as your mom and I couldn't believe it. She was there supporting you and cheering for you. I'm sure your mom has been through many tough times along your journey, but when I saw her I was touched again. She was there with her 'fly' hat and 'birds of a feather fighting together' shirt on. I'm so glad I could meet her and get to know her.
Moms are the best, in every way!
Feather, I know you have so much on your plate, but thank you. Your facebook and email accounts are always open to anyone -even the door to your house. You don't turn anyone away and always find time for people like myself who just met you and want to get to know you even more.
All the best as you recover and rest this week. I know (if not already) you'll be on your feet organizing the next event trying to raise money for breast cancer as soon as you can.
3 quotes that inspired me today...
Live for today, Hope for tomorrow!
Don't hurry God.
The problems that we think may drown us today could be the stepping-stones to greater spiritual strength tomorrow. Max Lucado
Remember God is in control. Remember His Goodness in the past, His Closeness in the present, and His Power for the future. Max Lucado
Don't hurry God.
The problems that we think may drown us today could be the stepping-stones to greater spiritual strength tomorrow. Max Lucado
Remember God is in control. Remember His Goodness in the past, His Closeness in the present, and His Power for the future. Max Lucado
Monday, October 1, 2007
Life is full of sweet things.
I found a shirt that I love. I usually don't wear shirts that say stuff on them but I loved this one. It says, "Life is full of sweet things."
Everyday I look for the sweet things, the things to be grateful for.
Then I was sent the following through facebook, which made me think and feel a little deeper today, beyond the chemo drugs:
Laugh when you can,
Apologize when you should,
And let go of what you can’t change.
Kiss slowly, Play Hard
Forgive quickly, Take chances
Give everything and have no regrets.
Life is to short to be anything but happy.
Life is full of sweet things!
Everyday I look for the sweet things, the things to be grateful for.
Then I was sent the following through facebook, which made me think and feel a little deeper today, beyond the chemo drugs:
Laugh when you can,
Apologize when you should,
And let go of what you can’t change.
Kiss slowly, Play Hard
Forgive quickly, Take chances
Give everything and have no regrets.
Life is to short to be anything but happy.
Life is full of sweet things!
Thank-you abc!
I stopped by my "work" place, abc restaurant yesterday. I had to fight back my tears, from the moment I walked in. All of the staff were wearing my pink "birds of a feather fighting together" T-shirts. I was so overwhelmed by their display of support. I felt such moral support and appreciation. Not to mention that they all look great in pink! They are some hot ladies working there! I snapped a couple photos of them and went on my way before I burst into tears. They will be wearing the shirts for the month of October, for breast cancer awareness month. The shirts are for sale at abc in Abbotsford and the proceeds go to support my family. My boss at abc, Terry and Blanche Dawes, are covering half the cost of the T-shirts and the staff are covering the other half. It’s a fundraiser for my family but also a wonderful show of support for me, what a moral booster!
I know that many of the staff have had breast cancer touch their lives through a mother, sister, Grandmother or friend. So they are doing it for their loved ones as well. Breast cancer strikes 1 in 8 women and I hope and pray that it’ll never affect the lives of any of my co-workers. Even though I’m not working there right now, I look forward to returning. Sometimes it’s difficult visiting the restaurant because I’m so looking forward to when I can return. Unfortunately the Doctor says it could be as much as a year before I can work again. I long for the time to work with my friends again. I miss them so much!
Thank you my dear friends at abc!!
I know that many of the staff have had breast cancer touch their lives through a mother, sister, Grandmother or friend. So they are doing it for their loved ones as well. Breast cancer strikes 1 in 8 women and I hope and pray that it’ll never affect the lives of any of my co-workers. Even though I’m not working there right now, I look forward to returning. Sometimes it’s difficult visiting the restaurant because I’m so looking forward to when I can return. Unfortunately the Doctor says it could be as much as a year before I can work again. I long for the time to work with my friends again. I miss them so much!
Thank you my dear friends at abc!!
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