Good news!

The huge ulcer I had in my stomach is not only totally gone, it has also tested for sure begnin and not cancer! Yeah! Also my dizziness, vertigo,neausea, and loss of balance has been decided, after much testing, I have a condition that I've had my whole life. Basically it's an agrivated case of "motion sickness", it's annoying, but there's very little that can be done for it. Taking gravol, wearing large-wide covering sunglasses and sunvisors will help and hopfully the condition will improve slightly over time, but will never be gone. I've had this my whole life, basically my bodies balancing mechanism doesn't work correctly, especially not right now. But thankfully it's not anything related to cancer!
When I was in the hospital 2 weeks ago, all the test results came back the way we wanted them to. We are just waiting for the results of my lumbar puncture (spinal tap. I also have another ultrasound on April 1st and should get the results with in the week as well.
As for today, I'm feeling much better, though I'm looking forward to my nap.The girls now both have colds and I'm hoping my immune system has built up enough to fight it. Two weeks ago my T white cell count was at 1.6, which is very low. As low as I was at almost at my lowest while on chemo.
But lately I feel like I've been getting more good news than bad. thank-you Lord!

Fundraiser garage sale

Here at our house on saturday april 5th we are having a garage sale, from 8:30-4:30. The Money raised will go towards sending my young adults conquering cancer group to a free retreat in Quebec, if we register on time the 'Camp Real Time" will sponsor us $400 towards our flight, which leaves another $450 for us to raised for the flight, plus I'd like to raise enough that we have some food budget for travel and one-to night hotel stays so we don't have to fly any red-eye flights.
If you have anything that you'd like to add to the garage sale, to go towards our fundraising, that would be great contact me. Any stuff that doesn't sell will be brought to MCC or Bibles for missions.
Find us at: 34451 Thoreau ave abbotsford BC V2S 7H6
See you there!!

April 5th, Cheesecake Concert for cancer

Debbie Fortnum said...
Hey girlfriends of Feather and all women who hang out at her blog because you care! You are especially invited to our first Cheese Cake Concert FUNDRAISER. Yep, I (Deb Fortnum) and Lisa Adrianne are gonna be singing our hearts out for Feather Saturday April 5th in Yarrow! Feather is scheduled to be our special inspirational guest, but if she can't make it, that's okay. All the more reason to have this Girls-Night-Out for a special purpose: to help get her on her feet again!

Get your $10 tickets at House of James in Abbotsford, Blessings, Verses or Yarrow Alliance Church in Chilliwack. All proceeds will be going to Feather & family (and possibly another family struggling with cancer too) during this incredibly expensive time.

www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=10102922132


Bring your sisters, moms, girlfriends, aunts, grandmas and daughters to a great evening of music, healing hope and encouragement for Feather and others fighting cancer!

SSS Alumni Cancer Awareness Benefit Concert

Attention: Sardis Secondary School Alumni and Friends of Feather: There is an awesome benefit concert happening soon and we'd love for you to attend!!!

Featuring:

M A R I K A
Recording Artist

Neverknown
Daniel Wagner & Brendan Braun--SSS Alumni


Lisa Adrienne
SSS Alumna

Chris Janz
Recording Artist



When: Saturday, April 12, 2008
Time: 7:30 pm
Where: Sardis Secondary School, 45460 Stevenson Road, Sardis, B.C. V2R 2Z6
Cost: $10 at the door

This is a show you won't want to miss!!!
Hope to see you there!

I think I hear a Who!!

I often gage my day on how well I get from my bed in the morning to the toilet. As I sit and reflected on how I made the passage short passage this moring, stumbling, out of it, lightheaded and aching all over ( from the muscle seizing attacks that I’ve had 4 of in the last few days.) As I sat on the toilet this Easter Sunday Morning feeling just terribly broken. I wept as the words repeated in my mind, “The Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ
suffered and died so that we may have life.” This gave me hope, because there so much life to live, now and in the here after!
This comforting feeling came through retched coughing and choking spells. I’m sure from the our side it didn’t sound well at all. Beth came in to comfort me which was nice, but I wanted the hugs and support of my husband, not to mention that he would be able to prepare a needle that would make me feel so much better.
Slowly I started to member that it is Carmelle’s fifth birthday today as well. So I fixed myself up so I wouldn’t look as bad as I feel and I, and spent some special time wishing her a happy birthday.
AS for my health currently, I can stay at home to take my oral antibiotics as long as my temperature stays down. If my temp goes back up, then I go back in twice a day for IV antibiotics. Unfortuanately the pills upset my stomach. I just don’t seem to win. But if all this means that I win in the end, then it’s all worth it.
Happy Easter everyone,He has risen, He has risen Indeed!!
We sure enjoyed taking the girls to see 'Horton hears a who!'

I think I hear a Who1!!

I often gage my day on how well I get from my bed in the morning to the toilet. As I sit and reflected on how I made the passage short passage this moring, stumbling, out of it, lightheaded and aching all over ( from the muscle seizing attacks that I’ve had 4 of in the last few days.) As I sat on the toilet this Easter Sunday Morning feeling just terribly broken. I wept as the words repeated in my mind, “The Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ
suffered and died so that we may have life.” This gave me hope, because there so much life to live, now and in the here after!
This comforting feeling came through retched coughing and choking spells. I’m sure from the our side it didn’t sound well at all. Beth came in to comfort me which was nice, but I wanted the hugs and support of my husband, not to mention that he would be able to prepare a needle that would make me feel so much better.
Slowly I started to member that it is Carmelle’s fifth birthday today as well. So I fixed myself up so I wouldn’t look as bad as I feel and I, and spent some special time wishing her a happy birthday.
AS for my health currently, I can stay at home to take my oral antibiotics as long as my temperature stays down. If my temp goes back up, then I go back in twice a day for IV antibiotics. Unfortuanately the pills upset my stomach. I just don’t seem to win. But if all this means that I win in the end, then it’s all worth it.
Happy Easter everyone,He has risen, he has risen indeed, Indeed!!

Happy to be home, hope to stay here for awhile...

It’s been a rough few days, I’m almost to weak to write. Good news is that I’m home from the hospital. They did many tests while I was there from the middle of the morning at 3:30am, Thursday, till Friday morning. I went by ambulance for the first time in my life (another thing to mark off my bucket list!).

My reason for the trip via ambulance was that I woke up in the middle of the night with uncontrollable muscle spasms. (Almost seizure-like.) My chest x-rays were fine, my ‘ten’ vials of blood showed high levels of liver enzymes and low white blood T cells (immune system cells which means my immune system leaves me very susceptible to infections).

My fever was consistently too high, around 39 C, sometimes over. Other tests included an abdominal ultrasound which showed my liver to be fine and did in fact discover I do in fact have a gall bladder. The spinal tap (lumbar puncture) was the most stressful part. The results will not be back for a week – the concern being cancer cells present in my spinal fluid. I am now an outpatient and have been receiving IV antibiotics for an unidentified infection that is causing the fever. The antibiotics only add to the cocktail which my body is not particularly happy with at the moment.

I’m very happy to have lots of support at this time with Chris’s mom here. Chris’s little sister Kelsey and her husband Rob are also here (along with their baby bump!). With Colin that makes half the Janz clan here.

Hope you all have a wonderful Easter. This Easter will be extra special as Easter Sunday is Carmelle’s 5th birthday. I hope the weather cooperates and that we are able to have an outdoor Easter egg hunt (and that I have the energy to participate.

Another Update (From Chris)

I awoke this morning at around 4:00am to find Feather shaking uncontrollably. barely able to talk or move. Feather was in REALLY rough shape; it was a very frightening scene. After a few minutes of not being able to get her symptoms under control, I called an anbulance. She is now in MSA emerg again. So far we know that some of her liver enzymes are above where they should be, one of her cardiac levels is off (ECG was fine)and she saw a neurologist as well.

Now she is being admitted to the hospital. Later on today she will undergo a liver ultrasound and a spinal tap to rule out mets, either of which would be a vey bad diagnosis.

So please continue to pray. She would also appreciate visitors today at the hospital. After one hour of sleep, I'm going to try and rest now for a bit. I'll update again when I hear more.

Chris

Feeling good, while feeling crappy!

I'm feeling crappy because I had a gastrophy(tube down the into the stomach)after not being able to eat or drink since midnight the night before and I didn't get wheeled in until 12:15 pm. Thank-fully I don't remember a thing, but apparently I came out coughing a lot. When the Dr came, he came with great news, what was there is completely gone, and the scare of it going cancer is over! Yeah! I love that I've been opassing so many tests lately!
My MOther-in-law, Beth, has now arrived from London and we are so happy to have her here with us. The children are being showered with love and attention and so am I. IT's ba good place to be.
I'll write more when I'm feeling a bit better.

Ahhhh….What’s up Doc?!?!

It’s The Ides of March…I’m surprised that I remember that! Yesterday I forgot that my Mother-in-law is coming from England for a visit this week, which I probably failed to mention to anyone else either, as my short term memory is not doing so well. My dizziness has possibly gotten better, not worse anyway. But my short term is not so good. I usually lose my place in my conversation, and forget what I was talking about. I’ve even been shy of the telephone because I phone people and forget why I called them or sometimes who I’m even calling. I prefer email these days, there’s a better chance I’ll remember or be able to remind myself if it’s written and saved. Don’t take it personally if you’ve told me something and I don’t remember. I try to write everything on the calendar, remind me to if I’m talking to you. I have a busy couple of weeks ahead of me, a lot more people are available for visits and helping out with it being spring break and Easter.

I had heard the words, “Chemo Brain” thrown around a lot, in the years working with the Canadian Breast Cancer foundation; women often complained of loss of memory, even 2 years after chemo. So I’m hoping that these symptoms are just par for the course. Fore!!!

Another Update (From Chris)

Feather had her appointment with her doctor at the cancer agency today before herceptin, and her doctor has noticed a lump under Feather's arm. They're going to schedule an ultrasound to see what's going on. We would ask again that you be in prayer that this is just some scarring, or some other benign tissue, and that it's not cancer attacking a lymph node or something.

They're also going to halt Feather's herceptin treatment for a couple of rounds to see if it may be the cause of her dizziness and foggy head.

This journey is far from over, and we appreciate so much the prayers that you are all offering on our behalf. I'm sure Feather will write more when she comes home today.

Chris

To feel or not to feel, that is the question?!?!

This time, being one year since all this began for our family. Reflecting back has brought with it a flood of emotions. I’ve shed more tears in the last few days that I have all year. There is something freeing with tears, but also terrifying. When I’m free I’m in a place where nothingness envelopes me. There’s peace there, but there’s also life and death. A place where peace, life and death exist. I suppose until now, it’s never felt so real.
I want to be real, I feel called to be real. God created us to feel, live and die. I’m feeling, I’m living and possibly dying. There’s where I am and that’s what I’m doing. Somedays I feel more or less sometimes, but mostly I’m feeling more.

Update (From Chris)

Feather has had couple of really terrible days. Physically she hurts all over, mentally she's very depressed, and she's been more dizzy as well. Please pray that her spirits are lifted, and that her body starts to feel better. She said today that she felt like her personality was changing.

Pray for me also as I have just a huge amount of work to do, and I'm still trying to be there for Feather and the girls at the same time.

I would say that this possibly borderw on the toughest time for us as a family we've gone through since this whole mess started. Thanks again for reading,

C.

March 4th is a time to MARCH FORTH!!

March 4th has held the significance of being a day to MARCH FORTH, since my best friend Carmen married her love, Rodney Anderson, and they marched forth into married life together. I stood as her Maid of Honour 13 years ago not knowing that in a week I’d be diagnosed with breast cancer at 23 and that she after 7 years of marriage, just before her 30th birthday 6 years ago, would pass away and leave such a void in the lives of so many who loved her, including me. Lossing a best friend is much harder than fighting cancer, much harder, I can honestly answer that because I’ve lived both, survived both and my life is better because of both. Having Carmen as my best friend for most of my life was one of the very best things that ever happened in my life, Carmen’s friendship was a gift. I also can see my cancer as being a gift, one that has made my life richer in so many ways. Though I look back and see sometimes in my life that were so rough, I press forward knowing that to March Forth will bring glory and peace in my life. March with me, onward to victory!!

One Year ago Today...

Today is March 2nd and it has just occurred to me that it was one year ago today that my second journey with breast cancer officially began. It was March 2nd, 2007, and I headed off to a Doctor’s appointment in the morning. Chris stayed at home with all the children, our two and two daycare children. I met a different Doc as ours was off to South Africa with his family for a 5 week vacation. The Dr. who filled in was a very nice woman who nicely told me that my breast felt completely normal to her. But she filled in a request for a diagnostic mammogram anyway and I told her that I’d be bringing it to the mammography clinic myself, without an appointment, and wait until they could fit me in. If I’d waited for her to send over the requ-form it would have been a week or longer for a mammogram to be scheduled. Even when marked “Urgent”, which she did do. Even though she felt my breast was normal, because of my past history and the fact that I wasn’t her patient, I think added an extra sense of urgency (which was beneficial for me). Though at this point I already had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right… that in fact something was terribly wrong. I went to the Clinic and nicely asked when they could fit me in. At first they said not today. Then I gave them some more personal info, pleading while remaining composed. Then by miracle one young woman who worked there recognized me when I said my name, she and I grew up together in church, in Sardis, though she was younger than me, I recognized her right away as well. She knew my history of having breast cancer before and she could see in my eyes, my desperate need to know what was happening now. She asked me to wait, and that she’d talk to the radiologist personally on my behalf. She came back and said that he’d agreed to fit me in within the hour. I said I was happy to wait and thank-you! When I got in for the mammogram, the lady tech recognized me. She’d done my previous mammogram and she said that I spoke at her daughter’s school. She said that she was so pleased with her daughter’s response to my presentation, that she finally now would talk with her mom about breast health issues and other things that she hadn’t before. This made me feel very encouraged in the midst of my boob squishing. We laughed together about a previous mammogram when I’d been breast feeding, and even though I breast fed right before the test, I still managed to spray milk several feet all over the mammography machine!
When the pictures were done and I was asked to wait while the radiologist gave them a look over and made sure the pictures where good enough. When the tech came back she said nicely that there was something they needed to take a closer look at and needed more pictures of. I just knew in that instant, that it was cancer, perhaps it was the “air” in the room, but more likely God softly preparing me for what was ahead. More pictures were taken, I was surprisingly calm. I said some quite prayers in my head to my soul and peace came. When those pictures were done, the tech asked me if I wanted to see what they were looking at, I said yes. I was surprised, because the area I was most concerned about was on the left side of my right breast where a pucker had appeared just a week prior. But where she was showing me was behind all of that, at the back of my breast tissue and a very small area, about half a cm at most. They decided to do a third round of pictures, I realized later it was because they wanted to see if there were any lymph nodes that showed any signs of being positive. ( In the report I read a week later, it stated that a posterior area of .6 cms showed signs of malignancy and that one lymph node also seemed suspicious of malignancy, when I read this I knew right way it was true and that I needed to have my breast removed asap!)
The radiologist asked if I was willing to go for an ultra sound right away that afternoon, which would mean bringing over my own mammogram pictures. I said, no problem. I called Chris and explained the situation, he was concerned but was still believing nothing was wrong, even though I just knew already. We decided then that we weren’t going to tell anyone just yet, because we didn’t want people worrying unnecessarily and word spreading that I had cancer again, if I didn’t. I had to remember that Chris had not been through this before, and now I was heading down a similar path for the second time. I wasn’t just me this time, this was also going to directly effect my husband and two daughters every single day as well. I had to think about what was best for them and not just for me.
I had time in between my mammograms and ultra-sound, so I went o home for a bit, Chris was managing with the children very well, as always, and he pulled out the slide pictures (which you aren’t suppose to do, but that’s not going to stop Chris when there’s something he wants to do) He held the pictures up against the window and I showed him the area they were concerned about. He was relieved to see that the spot was so small, though that’s what’s so discouraging about cancer, that something so small can cause so much harm. Off I went to my ultrasound appointment, with my mammogram slides in hand. My feelings were confirmed even more when the ultra-sound tech called for the radiologist to come in right away. He looked over the pictures and then told me that I need to have a needle core biopsy done at a hospital as soon as possible. I just knew that he could tell it was a cancer and probably one that had already spread to my lymph nodes.
I remained positive and optimistic but also realistic. I’d already decided that I would do what I could to have my breast removed as soon as possible. Even if it wasn’t cancer, or not that serious yet, I wasn’t willing to wait around anymore to see if I could get breast cancer again. I had peace about this decision even before confirmation came in two weeks later…to the day.