Not Guilty.

The following is an exerpt from the book "Not Guilty-My guide to Working Hard, Raising kids and laughing through the Chaos." by Debbie Travis. I love her honesty about parenting. There needs to be more of this floating around and landing in our laps. This bit can be found in May's Reader's Digest.

"It's all right not only to cry but to laugh at the insanity that is motherhood."

GETTING PAST THE GUILT

A few years ago, I was asked to speak to a group of women at a charity luncheon. It was the first time I'd been asked to talk publicly about something other than decorating. As I went on stage, the organizer whispered, "Just tell tham about your life."
So I did. I told them how I'd started from nothing, moving to Canada from England after I met Hans, building up a decorative-painting business while my lids were small, then doing two Tv shows- Painted house and Facelift.
I said that by painting and filming in other families' homes I had a birds-eye view of the dynamics of parents and children, husbands and wives and saw it is normal to swing wildly between loving our husbands and children and wanting to throw them out the window.
After, a woman stood up and siad show owned two coffee-shop fanchises and was a mother of three children. "My questions to you Debbie, is: How do you get up in the morning?" She promptly burst into tears; then, to my horror, everyone in the audience began to cry.
It was an indication of how stressed out and fearful women are these days. They feel guilty about even the smallest things. Is the world really going to implode if you don't bake cookies for the school bake sale?!? Does it matter if your house is spotless for the mother's group?
The women at the talk were relieved to hear someone say that they didn't have to be perfect, that it's all right not only to cry but to laugh at the insanity that is motherhood.

Debbie Travis's Ten Commandments for Parenting

1. Treat your kids like a painting job: It's all in the preparation. Take the time to sand and prime well, and the results will be as good as perfect. Don't worry too much about the cracks or blotches-they just add character.

2. Make life as easy as possible. Do not be afraid to cut corners.

3. Learn to use the word NO at every opportunity. Your children will soon get bored and move on to the next demand.

4. Burn your child-rearing books. OR stack them up and stand on them so you can reach your towering teen to be able to shout at him, eye to eye. Or build a wall with them to seperate bickering siblings.

5. Be prepared for war. You need a brilliant strategy and state-of-the-art weapons to raise a family. Conquer your children early on, but be fore-warned: they are masteres of the element of surprise!

6. Don't be afraid to ask for help. When the going gets tough, call for real-life back-up. Share your failures with other leaders, as they may have more advanced weaponry up their sleeves.

7. A good tantrum clears the air. I'm talking about you here: Learn from your kids that crying can get you what you want.:)

8. Follow your kid's lead in laughter, games and plain silliness. They know best about some things.

9. Love the chaos. Praise your messy house daily, even pray to it, because before you blink, your children will be gone and it will be way too tidy.

10. Look after yourself. The wheels on the bus go round and round...and round and round. Learn to take a break. Never be ashamed to tell the family you are leaving, and you are going to be alone, even if it's only for 24 hours. They will survive.

By: Debbie Travis


Feather's Comments: I hope reading this gave you a reason to breath a little easier like it did for me. Perhaps I am more normal than I thought after all!!