still and discouraged

Shortly after writing the previous blog entry, in which I express how thrilled I am to have been feeling so well for just over three days, I had what I believe is the worst asthma attack I have ever had:( IT was brought on by Cadence spraying a "bleach" based cleaner in the house and very close to me, she thought she was helping to clean, which is so sweet...but she took the cleaner bottle from outside that we use to clean up when our dog Lilah does a doo-doo on the patio, outside only.She had no idea now bad this was for Mommy and really either did I , because I've never reacted that badly. Before I even saw or smelt the cleaner, I started to have trouble breathing and I looked around to see what could possibly be triggering my asthma, then I saw...as I asked her to stop and fairly frantically told her take it outside and wipe up the spray, my asthma attack progressed to the point that I started to throw up; no wanting to scare the girls any further I ran to the master bath and grabbed the phone to page Chris; who was thankfully working just downstairs. I continued to gag, gasp for breath, while trying to use my inhaler. Chris set up my nebulizer and while I sucked on that he turned on the second air filter for our room, locked the bedroom door, so I could be protected from the strong bleach smell in the rest of the house. As I grew weaker and the tightness and pain in my chest increased another symptom arose that I've only felt once before, but was by far the worst; my throat started to swell more and more. I took a benadryl, added my other puffers as it continued up my throat to the back of my tougne. Now I paged Chris again and I was starting to get a little scared, was this an anyfalactic(sp?) shock symptom?!?!? The only thing I could think of right then was to start sipping my children's liquid benadryl, and as I sipped it the swelling started to go down fairly quickly and within 20 minutes those symptoms were gone. I think I'll be making a trip to the Dr tomorrow to try and figure out what that was and what to do about it if it were to happen again. So that was it, the rest of my day was spent recovering in bed, resting and doing what I could do to re-group, which did involve a big cry, of WHAT NOW!! Which was joined by a flood of my tears.
Setbacks seem to be getting harder and harder to bear. So then I read the blog posting a did right before it happened...and I am quickly reminded. Then there is peace.

Peace out,

feather