Nine years ago today...

At the end of the wonderful night at “Friends for Feather” as Chris finished singing and Justyn shared so passionately about my "Mountain" vision, Vern Hiedebrecht came up to pray. First he shared about being a part of our wedding ceremony nine years, almost to the day, as he prayed a beautiful prayer over our family, with everyone joining hands. Cadence and Carmelle were there, wiggling and holding hands as well. This is a family affair and I’m so glad they were there. The girls provided a health distraction so I didn’t break into the “ugly cry”.
This event was the most honouring of my life, next to my wedding day. The fact that it fell almost exactly 9 years to the day, I find symbolic. Today, June 26th is our actual Anniversary day, though we went out and celebrated last night (Chris forgot it was today (today being Tuesday) and booked work and band rehearsal, oh well) we had a wonderful dinner at the Keg and the leftovers were great even tonight. Our usual babysitter wasn’t available so her Mom came and wouldn’t let us pay her. That was very nice.
We feel blessed right, left and centre, especially when we found out that another $525 came into today, due to the fundraiser. That now puts our total at just over $6,500!! Wow!
Some extra good news was needed today as I endured the worst physical pain that I’ve had since surgery. I had quite intense bone pain, caused from the bone marrow being stimulated by the neuprogen injections to produce more white bloods cells. It was to be expected and I’ve had a bit of it, but this morning was more than I’d expected. Chris took very good care of me, and this was the much needed and romantic anniversary gift for me today. He’s been getting much better at giving me my injections by the way:)
I’ve actually been grateful for my roll of belly fat lately, it makes getting these injections much easier.
My actual anniversary gift, which I got already, is a silver heart locket that contains pictures of my girls. Chris got extra gifts for Father’s Day. I know, not very romantic on my part, but I went over budget on Father’s day gifts and we are trying to have some spending discipline over and above our usual good habits.

I think I’ve adjusted well to my baldness. I feel comfortable exposing it to others, as I did at Friends for Feather. I opened my talk to everyone with a joke I came up with. I held up a bald eagle feather and said, "What’s the difference between this and this?"( pointing to myself.) I said, “This is a bald eagle feather.” “And This… (refering to myself again) while taking off my head scarf, “IS a BALD FEATHER!” I proceeded to change my wigs and hats all through my talk, as to show everyone how I may look when they see me next, possibly even bald. SO far I’ve had trouble with people Not recognizing me. I think I’ll surprise myself and others with heading out bald more than I thought I would. I’ve grown quite use to it around the housenow, I usually only wear a hat or scarf only to keep my head warm or to keep the sun off of it.
I thought I’d miss my hair more. I always thought of my very long blonde hair as a bit of a “security blanket” for me. For some reason I thought I’d be less confident without it, which isn’t the case at all. I suppose it’s reassuring to know it’s a “phase” and that one day it will grow back. I reckon I’ve embraced, though not warmly, that fact that this is where I’m at in my life and being bald is a part of it. I am what a women who’s fighting breast cancer looks like, and I am that woman. If the rest of the world needs me to wear a wig so they can feel comfortable with my situation, well quite frankly I say, “To bad, so sad, suck it up!!”
Not to say that I won’t bring “Ami-Grace” and “Peggy-Sue” out sometimes. Then I get to control who and when people get to, just know what I’m going through. I suppose some days I might just prefer to have a little denial. My therapist would say, “That’s normal.” Though I’d say, “I’m anything but normal!”