I can hardly believe a year has past. One year since my surgery (April 5th); One year since I found out that I had cancer positive lymph nodes and would need chemotherapy; I got all of my long hair cut off and to be honest I haven’t really missed it. It’s growing back as thick as ever and I’m not really sure what to do with it. ( I get the worst bed head ever!)
I had no idea what the year would bring, and I’m glad I didn’t know. I now realize I can hardly grasp what I’ve been through. I’m glad I don’t remember a lot of it. I sit here and reflect on pieces of the year, the positive and the negative. I suppose I accept it all as my life experience that has gotten me here. I feel that if I can survive all of this then I can survive anything life brings and I’m prepared for a long life ahead of me.
I’ve switched gears over the last week. I’ve changed from thinking about fighting off the cancer and seeing myself as cancer-free and now just recovering from the treatment. In some ways it’s easier and in other ways it’s harder. Instead of breaking my life into segments of getting through the day, waiting for test results and getting to the next medical appointment; I can now see further down the road and feel comfortable making long term plans.
Though some points in the last week, were just getting through the next few minutes without running to the toilet, I can now feel more. I can celebrate my girls turning 5 and 3 and the warm summer months ahead. I look forward to being able to get a tan this summer and to run and splash with the girls on the beach.
Chris and I are looking forward to a night at the Harrison Hotel tomorrow night, thank-you to our friends who made this get away possible. We are looking forward to the time together.
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